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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

How was it different with the right person?

35 replies

ADairyDe · 01/01/2021 21:03

The one thing I am struggling to find is a homely feeling. A feeling that someone gets me and I get them (for the most part).

I’ve met people but never felt comfortable with them for months on end. Sometimes I would feel comfortable but totally misunderstood. I have had a nice happy safe feeling years ago but not for a while.

How did it feel when you met the right one?

OP posts:

toobusytothink · 02/01/2021 10:57

Echoing everyone else. That completely comfortable feeling and like there’s a huge blanket wrapped around me. I feel safe and warm. The first time I met him feeling like I’d known him my entire life. And yes he just gets me and I am be 100% myself. And the way I break out in the hugest grin whenever I see him.

toobusytothink · 02/01/2021 10:58

Oh and absolutely I am a better and kinder and nicer person because of him. I told him I didn’t realise people like him existed (when he was being especially thoughtful) and he replied that he didn’t realise “he” existed either. So works both ways

Thaimoon · 02/01/2021 11:01

Yes I agree with the above. The main I would use is word is EASY. Consistently.

planningaheadtoday · 02/01/2021 13:20

I feel connected, home, loved, valued. I heal when I'm laying on him. It's like a spiritual filling up.
I feel a keen sense of loss when we are apart. It's as though I'm waiting to breathe again.

Shoxfordian · 02/01/2021 13:25

Our relationship is easy, we genuinely want the same things, we never argue. There’s no drama. I know he loves me and thinks I’m beautiful all the time, he cherishes me and we make each other very happy

ToffeeNotCoffee · 02/01/2021 14:01

I feel connected, home, loved, valued. I heal when I'm laying on him. It's like a spiritual filling up.
I feel a keen sense of loss when we are apart. It's as though I'm waiting to breathe again.

This^ I felt this way when we were engaged. Married 26 years now. I still look forward to seeing him at the end of the day.

Twobigsapphires · 02/01/2021 15:28

I still punch myself after being with my Dh for 9 years now. He is my soul mate, it’s like a feeling of home and belonging. I feel respected, safe and free to be myself. Basically the complete opposite to my exh who I was with for 15 years.

Bobbybobbins · 02/01/2021 15:40

Easy, not arguing all the time, bring out the best in each other, knowing we have similar values (not necessarily interests), laugh together, listen to each other.

Ofgareth · 02/01/2021 16:39

I had the feeling of being ‘home’, like I would be happy with him anywhere and when I was laying on him I felt so safe and I was always able to be 100% me... it felt like we were made for each other and I thought we would be together forever, but he cheated. Twice.

Welshgal85 · 02/01/2021 16:45

I agree with what others have said, it just feels easy! When I was single people would say to me you’ll just know when you meet the right person for you and it will just click and I always used to think what a load of nonsense as I don’t believe in ‘the one’, but when I met DP it really did all click! I’m so glad that there has been no drama and meeting him has felt like coming home, I feel like I’ve known him forever and can’t imagine not being together.

I still don’t believe in ‘the one’ or fate though, I just think things happen and it’s a case of being in the right place, right time in your lives to make it work!

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