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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Am stuck between a rock and a hard place!!

3 replies

kittylouise · 25/10/2007 14:24

I know it's still early for 'what are we doing at Christmas' conversations but still, this is driving me mad.

Agreed in summer that me, DP, DD (11) DSS (20) brother (also 20) and mum would go away somewhere sunny for Christmas. DP has been ill this year and we had all the fun and games of having our house destroyed in floods in July. Would really love to get away, and mum agreed that it would be great to spend so much time together, as I live 150 miles away from mum, and brother is at uni. DP very kindly said that he would pay for everyone.

So, after discussions about where we should go etc, I was just about to book it, when mum says that brother has decided to go to Scotland for Christmas and New Year (without telling me) and mum now doesn't want to go away either.

So:

1.DD is upset because she really wants to see her gran over Christmas.

2.Now my mum is going to be on her own at Christmas, I feel guilty about going away and leaving her. I know it's her choice, but I feel caught between thinking she is a selfish bugger and thinking she's my mum, I love her and I don't want her to be on her own.

3.DP is pissed off because changes of mind at the last minute.

4.I could hit my brother.

I deep down want to stay in UK so can see mum at Christmas, but know that DP is so looking forward to going away. Just want everyone to be happy! What should I do?

OP posts:
Neverenoughpumpkins · 25/10/2007 14:30

Kittylouise, I know you just want everyone to be happy but your Mum can decide what she wants to do and I think that DP would rightly be hacked off if her choice had to impact on his family Xmas. I would say differently if there were special circumstances, but assuming she is not ill or similar then stick to your original plan.

AngharadGoldenhand · 25/10/2007 14:34

Go away with dp, dd and dss.

Presumably you don't get to do it every year, and it'll be particularly nice for dp as he's been ill.

Original poster
kittylouise · 25/10/2007 14:39

Thanks very much for replies - I know that what you have both said is the most sensible route. And mum is big enough to make her own decisions.

I just don't want a conversation in June where she berates me for buggering off and leaving her on her own at Christmas (which is entirely possible)

Bloody mums

OP posts:
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