Friends with benefits

[Abcdefgh12345]

Ok leading on from my last post.

So the 42 year old man I've been seeing. We met 4 months ago on a dating site. Both wasn't ready for a relationship. Agreed to friends with benefits.

Anyway he has a female friend he also met on a dating site but she wasn't his type. They have been best mates a year. Do everything together. They've never slept together or even kissed. Apparently who knows.

He said that she is quite controlling and wants to spend most days with him doing stuff. Running, walking, exploring etc.

He spent Xmas eve day and Boxing Day with her and New Year's Eve with me. Even though she got shitty with him.

She then told him they are going to watch the sunrise at 7am soooooooo after an amazing night with him where he told me he had feelings for me etc. He has got up at 7 and gone to meet her as he thought that was fair.

Am I wrong to feel a bit pissed off?
As the way he sees it he is being fair to both of us. I got New Year's Eve and she got New Year's Day

Him telling you he has feelings ? Yes we've all been there . There are loads of guys who get the feels but don't do any more than that other than shag you . He wants the "girlfriend experience" from you while still seeing other women . He's not a decent guy in the way he talks and behaves. Don't you deserve better ?

He doesn’t want a relationship with you , not an exclusive one anyway . If he did he’d bin off the other woman , and make you his priority . He hasn’t ,
Tbh you may feel she’s not good looking , and he may tell you she’s not his type etc , but she still has at least half his attention, he spent NY day with her because he wanted to, he could have told her No he had plans , but he didn’t want to .
Fwb is about two adults who get on , have sex , usually until something better comes along, it’s mutually beneficial . Neither one of you owe the other any explanations , that’s how it works .

If he told you he has feelings for you then he is breaking the friends with benefits agreement. So it's time to end things. So why didn't you?

He is conning you honey. Treating you like the gf and acting like a bf and even faking feelings to get you to lower your guard.

But also making it clear he is 'oh so popular' with women.

Time to end it.
Or ask him to make it official. Which he wont because he has other interests. And despite him being all 'I have feelings' he will act all shocked and tell you that you both agreed to fwb and YOU are being clingy.

I agree with PPs about why he is acting this way. But it's also clear you don't think of him as a FWB.

Can you imagine someone coming onto here moaning that their friend chose to spend certain days over Christmas with another friend? Or that their friend left early to meet another friend?

You are both his friends. The fact you have sex with him doesn't somehow give you any greater claim on his time.

"Actions speak louder than words" is a saying for a reason. You can say that you're going to do pretty much anything with very little effort. The best part of it is that people with no critical thinking skills will still believe you in spite of no corroborating evidence.

OP you post about this almost every week with a small addition of info each time. The responses are the same everytime. I'm not sure what you want people to say?? I'm not sure why you are clinging on to him:

He wants fwb, you obviously don't.

This is a hell of a lot of drama in a shot term for any relationship type especially fwb.

His best friend is a woman. It happens. And yes, he prioritizes her over you as one should do with a close friend over a fwb.

This is not fun for you, it's driving you nuts and making you overthink and insecure.

Just stop! It's not worth this level of intensity and angst.It's really really not!!

To be honest I wouldn’t run off too soon. If he has only just discovered that he has true feelings for you, beyond your FWB arrangement, then he could genuinely be confused. These things do take time and can be complicated despite what the films would have people believe.
If you have feelings for him and would like a relationship with him then I would sit down and discuss it with him. I would not take any nonsense from him in the long term at all. But I wouldn’t ditch him over this new year. He would need the opportunity to talk to his female friend if you were starting a relationship and he would be spending less time with her. It speaks well of him that he isn’t prepared to ditch his prearranged plans just because you spent the night together IMO.

OP sounds like you like him more than just being FWB. If this was purely FWB then what he does with other women (aside from sex) is kinda not your business. Either way this idea of him giving you a bit of his time sexually and then a bit of his time to another woman in an apparently non sexual way, doesnt sit right with me. If you only want FWB, get another man.

Also the promise of travelling with you in 3 years time?!?! really. Do better OP. If you want a relationship then go out and find one. Waiting around for the opportunity to travel with this man sounds really silly to me. If you have only been "dating" for 4 months...why would he make these kind of statements. Seems a bit off