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Original poster

Whos on Mumsnet this New Years Eve??

55 replies

AmywithanL · 31/12/2020 19:35

Seeing as we are in lockdown, im in Tier 4 here...hiw is everyone bringing in the 2021?

Theres alot of posters whos posted recently about recently separating, myself being one of them, and have found them selves alone or just them and their DC...
So lets keep each other virtual company and talk about forgetting the crap year we’ve had and what we want and will achieve in 2021.

Next year I will be putting my marital home on the market and finding somewhere to rent. My youngest will be starting school and I am going to colour my hair Red!!

Bring It On 2021!! 💪🏼

OP posts:
CayrolBaaaskin · 31/12/2020 21:30

Me - I’m a single parent and dds with their dad. Drinking some lidl champagne and hoping the new year is a better one.

duggeeismynewbestfriend · 31/12/2020 21:36

Hi all,

All romantic issues ending March with DC father in March. Still on the swings emotionally. Doing my best to remove myself.
At home at peace with my DC.

Not worrying what anyone is doing or being annoyed.

It's divine

Clink clink to the end of this year

Febo24 · 31/12/2020 21:48

I'm here...DDs at their dad's. He moved out just on Tuesday. I went down there for pizza and a movie, I'm now home watching telly that's not NYE telly with the cat and some AF fizzy wine as I don't drink. Also avoiding Facebook, a lot of reflective posts about loving families which I can't handle at the moment!

Pebbledashery · 31/12/2020 21:58

Can I ask those who have their kids at their exes feel tonight?.. I'm not looking forward to it if it ever happens.

Sadnessallaround · 31/12/2020 22:01

@AmywithanL

Sadnessallaround

I read your post. How awful for you but what a complete idiot he is.

So is he coming back from his OW tonight?? Id bloody lock the doors and keep the key in so he cant get in!
Bit hard with your DC though, I guess. And what you said about your daughter sending the message to him even after everything he has done...I second what a pp said about her trying to keep in his ‘good books’ so he doesnt abandon her. You ARE her safe place and in time she will see for herself who she can depend on.

@AmywithanL

Thank you for taking the time to read my thread your reply.
Yes, he is back and the thought of locking the door has crossed my mind. If only I could !

Anyhow, how is your evening going?

Somefantasticplace · 31/12/2020 22:07

I'm at home with my STBXh and 2 DCs and it feel weird as we have basically been separated but living under the same roof for months.

In planning to file for divorce in January (wasted a lot of time this year trying to negotiate an amicable separation) which will be awful as he will be extremely difficult. The atmosphere has been polite but strained over the holidays and tonight feels surreal.

2021 is likely to get off to a terrible start for me but if I can get away from him it will hopefully get so much better.

Happy New Year to all Wine

Whatwouldscullydo · 31/12/2020 22:07

First Xmas and New years single. Split aviut three/3 weeks ago he moved out 2 weeks ago maybe slightly less I've lost track.

It feels kinda weird. But not bad weird.

I'm watching a crappy film with a glass if wine kids in bed.

Ex is coming tomorrow to see kids

I dont usually do much new years anyway I kinda miss working ( tier 4) that would killed some of the time today.

Putting tree away tomorrow and admiring the floor Grin

Original poster
AmywithanL · 31/12/2020 22:12

I have my children here, mine are 10,9 and 3
Ive pretty much always had my children on a nye but tbh, I dont think it would bother me them being at their dads.
Christmas and birthdays will be hard. This Christmas was my first christmas being separated from youngest dad and he went in the afrernoon, and my other 2 children also went to their dads. So I was on my own and I bloody loved it! I was dreading it on the run up but after the hardest bit of saying bye to them on the door step had gone I was fine.
I think we worry too much on trying to predict how we are going to feel during certain events but when the actual moment comes we get through it somehow.
A little bit of uncertainty is good, if we can learn to sit with it we will worry less

OP posts:
Ibizafun · 31/12/2020 22:15

I’m here.. feels like any other evening. Worried tonight about my dd 23 who really needs to sort out her life.

Original poster
AmywithanL · 31/12/2020 22:15

My evening is pretty chilled really. Ive played games with the kids and chatted to friends on whatsapp. Going to pop open my Asti that my ex brought me for my last birthday...my next is this Sunday 🥳

OP posts:
DrDolittlesParrot · 31/12/2020 22:16

I'm here too, newly separated, spending nye with teen dd, watching tv. We'll have a glass of prosecco at midnight. Had a Chinese earlier.

It was my choice to separate and most of the time I'm ok, just at night I can't sleep because my mind's whirring. I know it was the right decision, but struggle with happy memories and knowing how sad ex is Sad Hoping it gets easier with time.

Sadnessallaround · 31/12/2020 22:21

@AmywithanL

I am so pleased that being on your own wasn’t as bad as you first thought it would be

Whatwouldscullydo · 31/12/2020 22:21

dr you aren't responsible for his feelings. I don't mean to sound harsh but the way I see it is if they didn't care enough to prevent the behaviour that caused us to end it In the first place , then we shouldn't fill up head space with their feelings.

Sadnessallaround · 31/12/2020 22:22

@AmywithanL Happy birthday for Sunday ! FlowersCake

Crockodoodle · 31/12/2020 22:27

Husband in a sulk and gone to bed. He doesn't know this is the last year I put up with his shit

Febo24 · 31/12/2020 22:28

My DDs are at his and I'm okay with it. I think it could be worse if you think about it, or place too much on it. I'm even avoiding the telly and watching something random.

I remember back in the day, there was so much pressure to enjoy the night!

Febo24 · 31/12/2020 22:32

@DrDolittlesParrot

I'm here too, newly separated, spending nye with teen dd, watching tv. We'll have a glass of prosecco at midnight. Had a Chinese earlier.

It was my choice to separate and most of the time I'm ok, just at night I can't sleep because my mind's whirring. I know it was the right decision, but struggle with happy memories and knowing how sad ex is Sad Hoping it gets easier with time.

I get this. My husband made a huge error in judgment and betrayed my trust, but I'm STILL trying to make sure he's okay. I even engineered it so he had the kids tonight as I think he'd struggle more than me.
Sadnessallaround · 31/12/2020 22:35

I’ve never been one for NYE. It can come and go for me. Christmas, for me is much more important

DrDolittlesParrot · 31/12/2020 23:23

@Whatwouldscullydo

dr you aren't responsible for his feelings. I don't mean to sound harsh but the way I see it is if they didn't care enough to prevent the behaviour that caused us to end it In the first place , then we shouldn't fill up head space with their feelings.
I guess I know that what, but I genuinely think he didn't know he was doing anything wrong at the time. However, I know I couldn't spend the rest of my life with him, so we both have to get over it.
DrDolittlesParrot · 31/12/2020 23:26

Feb I think that's ok if you're ok with it though. Even if he doesn't deserve it, at least you'll feel you did the right thing.

Pagan101 · 31/12/2020 23:30

This is the first year since we separated that exh has a proper live in girlfriend. She really is welcome to him but I can't help feeling a bit meh that DC have only seen him once over Christmas because he's too lived up to be bothered. He's a crap parent anyway but still...

Sadnessallaround · 01/01/2021 00:20

And that was that.

Welcome to 2021. Time will tell what it has in store for us all.

I’m off to sleep, goodnight

Sadnessallaround · 01/01/2021 00:36

.,,. Although the fireworks are still going off with no signs of stopping, My goodness they’re noisy ! Hmm

Original poster
AmywithanL · 01/01/2021 00:47

Happy New Year everyone. Lets kick 2021s arse 💪🏼

OP posts:
HereIAmOnceAgain · 01/01/2021 01:01

I'm back to calorie counting too @Sadnessallaround. Though being around DH makes me want to eat everything I can get my hands on.

Happy New Year everyone