Basically my in-laws do not like me and have told me so. To begin with we used to get on fine when I first started seeing dh(I should also say at this point that dh is an only child, I've been married before and have 2 children from that marriage). The main problems I had were mainly with my MIL. She would do things like continually phone dh when we had week ends away, and once we were away seeing his family and he switched his phone off, so she would ring round the family to find out where we were and when confronted as to why she keeps phoning him she would say she was short on company. We rented the house next door to the in laws (which they owned) and she just made my life a misery. One minute she would be ok with me the next ignoring me, I even caught her hiding behind a tree once trying to avoid me. She would make snide comments to me when no one else was around and one of them was that she always gets what she wants and that she'll lie and do whatever it takes to get it. When the in laws went away we were always expected to feed and look after their cat, which we didn't mind doing until dh and I managed to get the same week off work and planned to go away with the children but low and behold they decided they wanted to go away at the same time and we were expected to cancel our plans so we could look after their cat. When we refused they tried to make us feel guilty. When we got engaged we took a bottle of champagne around to their house and told them the news. They took the drink, said a half hearted congratulations and carried on watching Coronation Street. MIL was then quite nasty to both of us for about a week afterwards making it quite clear she wasn't happy for us. In birthday cards to me or the children we get 'from',or just their names at the bottom,dh gets 'lots of love'and if its a Christmas card addressed to all of us its a 'from' (how pathetic is that. I usually write the same thing in a card no matter who it's to).
The list of things just goes on and on. They just made me feel like a complete outsider and I was totally miserable. It may not sound like very much to anyone else but when confronted by this day in day out it really ground me down, myself and dh were arguing a lot about it and there were a few times I even contemplated suicide it got me down so much. Dh, I felt thought I was making it up or exaggerating it because the majority of things would happen when he wasn't around, until one night when I was out FIL had been round to see him and had basically been slagging me off saying that I'd landed on my feet and I always ignored them, they said not very nice things about my children as well. Obviously we decided to find somewhere else to live and when dh told his parents FIL stormed around to our house and proceeded to shout and point his finger at me calling me a witch, a trouble maker. Saying I wasn't happy unless I was causing arguments (I'm the type of person that will do anything to avoid one) and the list goes on. The next day FIL was trying to creep roung dh in fact they both would everytime I was out of the house they'd be round trying to give him money and all sorts. Dh asked FIL to apologise to me but he refused, so when we moved dh told them that in light of what had gone on and had been said that they would not be welcome to come to our new house and in time when he was ready he would contact them. So 5 days after we moved FIL turned up at dh's work and continued to do so and would not get the message thatdh was still cross that no apology had been made to me.
The day of our wedding arrived and the photo's tell the whole story. Any photo that with them that I'm in (which is quite a lot with me being the bride!) they weren't smiling just had a grumpy look on their faces, FIL had to stand next to me but is at least 2 foot away and wouldn't get any closer even when asked by the photographer. It was embarrassing on the day but more so for my dh as everyone at the wedding noticed that they were behaving this way. Neither of them spoke one word to me the whole day, even when dh put FIL on the spot by saying "doesn't she look beautiful today?" with that came silence.
Dh was really hurt that his own parents couldn't make an effort for him just for one day.
I can pass them in the car and I get blanked as if I don't exist yet if dh is in the car they wave.
MIL's father died a few weeks ago and we travelled 370miles to go to the funeral and because I was there MIL wouldn't speak to dh and completely ignored him, yet a week ago she sent him a birthday card "with lots of love". I think this is an absolute cheek seeing as she couldn't bring herself to speak to him before. I think that the in laws think that things can carry on as normal with them and dh as if I don't exist but I don't think that they can. I think that they need to either except that we are married and be civil or if they can't do that then get lost(to put it politely). I can see that it hurts dh for his parents to be acting this way and he misses not having his parents around but I can't go on for the rest of our lives together with them acting like this towards me. We're at a stale mate and I want to try and do whats best for my husband and not tell him what to do but what I really want is to never have anything to do with them again because they're never going to change.
I'd be really glad of anyones opinions on this matter. Has anyone else had problems with the in laws? Sorry to have waffled on.