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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DD first love

3 replies

aliasname · 31/12/2020 10:54

DD 19 started university this year... at first she found it hard, came home a few times. Then she met a boy and now she's gone.

Came home for Christmas, left to meet the boy's parents. Was possibly coming back for New Year, but now implied she's not (although not specifically confirmed)

Now she's using coronavirus restrictions to say she's going to stay there, and go straight on to uni after. I know this is an excuse because she has been ignoring the restrictions previously (not in a typical student way, she's not a big party girl; but she did visit her stepsister, and of course going to the boyfriend's parents)

I know what its like to be in love for the first time, and understand they just want to be together. But am hurt that she is choosing him over us. Originally they were both going to come here for a few days before term starts.

But I haven't said anything, I remember at that age my mother used to want to know everything, and I hated it!. So am trying to give her more freedom. I don't want to appear clingy and needy. She says his parents are 'so lovely' and their house is 'amazing' and the village is 'gorgeous'

Yeah I know I'm just jealous, and should be happy that she's happy. Somebody slap me!

OP posts:
FortunesFave · 31/12/2020 11:23

It's not easy for sure...but it's not a case of you "Trying to give her more freedom"

She's an adult now...and can have as much freedom as she wants really.

It's perfectly normal at 19 to be with your boyfriend. I never wanted to at that age but know a lot of my mates did.

aliasname · 31/12/2020 11:25

We have said they are welcome here anytime. Have requested photos of the gorgeous village, and the cute dog. Said it all looks lovely etc.

Tried not to let the seething resentment and bitter disappointment show Grin

OP posts:
Cam2020 · 31/12/2020 11:27

That must be really hard for you... but this is all new and exciting for her. She will come back to you but on her terms and as an adult.

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