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Original poster

Dating and confused....

9 replies

Gemma871 · 30/12/2020 16:51

So I was on a dating site and i met this guy called Simon. Our first date was in lockdown, was going to go for a walk but because it was late afternoon we ended up having drinks at his house, he said he'd get me a taxi home ( he only lives 5 mins up road) anyway i ended up staying and one thing led to another. We didn't have full sex but did everything else pretty much.

After that we texted and he asked to see me again so i went round his in Christmas eve again and stayed over, this time i didn't want to do anything as i wanted to take it slow, i regretted the last time going so fast, he seemed ok with this and said he was happy to cuddle. We had a nice evening having a drink and watching a film.

He then didn't text me at all Christmas day which i thought was odd. He then asked to see me again but this time go for a walk, i said yes so we agreed to meet today and go for a walk and a coffee, we then chatted some more but then yesterday i got a text saying he'd been thinking and he just wanted to be friends for now but would like to keep in touch.

I'm confused, why did he ask to see me again if he just wanted friends?

Im really upset as i really liked him but im wondering if he's met someone else and dropped me... Thoughts?

OP posts:
litterbird · 30/12/2020 18:05

Sorry OP but this is what dating is all about, seeing if you fit with what you are looking for. Please dont take it personally, you may just not be what he is looking for and at least he had the courtesy of texting you and not ghosting you. Just let this go and seek out another gentleman that will be a better match for you and you for him.

yellowhighheels · 31/12/2020 09:55

Sorry OP, it's hard work, dating, but he's been honest with you and let you know he doesn't want to continue romantically which was the courteous thing to do, plenty of ghosting happens.

I wouldn't give too much thought to the 'let's be friends' bit. That is often just a way of letting someone down gently where there are no hard feelings.

The third meeting might have just been him wanting to give it one more go before deciding whether he felt you were compatible.

Maybe he did feel he had more in common with someone else but you don't know that so try not to dwell on the possibility too much.

This is no reflection on you, it sounds like he liked your company but didn't want to take it further. Just keep looking and try not to take it personally. There will be occasions if you carry on dating where you decide that although a man is really nice and attractive, he's just not quite right for you, for whatever reason so it works both ways.

Original poster
Gemma871 · 31/12/2020 10:22

Thanks @yellowhighheels I guess I got attached too soon and started to like him, it just came as a shock but i understand i wont be everyone's cup of tea and visa versa, like you say at least he was honest xx

OP posts:
yellowhighheels · 31/12/2020 10:45

It's so easily done. I've definitely been there
only the bloke i really liked didn't actually let me know, he just disappeared. I still wonder, nearly 2 years later what was wrong as we got on so well! You'll be fine Cake

Packitin · 31/12/2020 12:46

@Gemma871

Awful isn't it? But like others have said, he acted with decency. So many dont. Clearly, he liked you enough to give it some serious thought and meet you a few times. It just wasnt a fit. That's ok. I'm sure you've met guys where you were the one who thought it wasn't right? It happens, of course.

Doesnt stop it hurting but at least you weren't ghosted. That's so disrespectful and leaves people wondering what the hell they did, when in reality, they did fuck all wrong, just wasnt the right fit.

Chin up darlin xxxx

Original poster
Gemma871 · 31/12/2020 13:02

It is, it just feels so shit coz i did really like him and i can't stop over analysing everything I said wondering if maybe its something i said that put him off.

Maybe he scared of commitment, he's 40 and single lives on his own x

OP posts:
Original poster
Gemma871 · 01/01/2021 09:02

@Packitin @yellowhighheels Why is he still texting me if we are just friends? I was shocked to get a message from him last night, is just making it harder for me.

OP posts:
Manxiety · 01/01/2021 10:47

Feel grateful you didn't have sex with him OP. You'd feel worse. That is clearly what he wants and doesn't seem prepared to offer you anything more. You've played it completely right. If he wants to see you again it'll be on your terms - taking it slow, & dating...normally. Well done you!

yellowhighheels · 01/01/2021 11:35

What did it say, just a happy new year message?

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