How to tell our children dad is moving out.

[lmawills]

Hi,

I am after some advise. I have a 10 year old and 3 year old. I found out in august that the father of my children has been with another women for the last year. we still have not told them that their dad will be moving out very soon. I just need some advise on how to tell them especially my ten year old.

has anyone been in this situation and what advise can you give me please?

thank you

Hello Imawills, all I have is the perspective of someone who was in your kids' shoes 40 or so years ago... Please keep it as neutral and simple as you can, try as hard as you can not to criticise your partner in front of the kids, or try to get them to side with you. Ever. Don't vent in front of them, however justified this is. Ideally, you would both talk to the kids at the same time, to show that both of you are still their parents and have their best interests at heart. It should be all about the kids and how you can ensure that their life and equilibrium is maintained. If you handle it well, your 10 year old will have lots of questions (not necessarily in the moment) around seeing their dad, when this will be, holidays etc and how their life will change. Just say that you don't get on any more, that it's between you as adults as 1but that you both still love them. Your 3 year old will not understand, and randomly ask where his/her dad is and/or obviously miss him. Don't take this as a slight against you. The kids will still have love and loyalty to him, but this does not mean they love you less, or that they won't understand the rights and wrongs of this situation when they are grown up. Right now they are the innocent victims in all this, and deserve to have a loving and peaceful relationship with both parents.
Good luck!