At what point would you introduce kids?

[OneTwoTree1]

My boyfriend and I are both divorced, been seeing each other one year. We both have 2 kids, aged between 6 and 10.

At the moment we see each other twice a week, on childfree nights. All going well. However, in order to progress the relationship then at some point we would need to meet kids, so we could start having days out and then gradually stay over while kids are home. We've discussed this a bit, but neither are sure when to do it.

I know that kids should only meet someone when you think it is serious/long-term, but in some ways we will struggle to spend longer periods of time together unless we are able to integrate lives more. We both work full time, divorced several years and neither have introduced a partner to kids before.

I had no children when DP had a few. We took things slow with me meeting the children. It was all done their terms. Initially on mutual ground like bowling. Cinema is ideal as they don’t have to try and make conversation ect. I appreciate this will be hard with COVID.

We were seeing each other about 9 months before this. But all children and family’s are different and adjust at a different pace.

It was six months for us, no previous divorce etc so my son didn’t have to ‘recover’ from a relationship breakdown.

Its probably too soon for some, but if they didn’t get on the relationship would end, so I didn’t see the point of waiting say a year only to discover that they weren’t suited to each other.

My BF and I introduced our kids to each other after about 6-7 months - but they are all older (teens) and we had both been divorced a good while before we were dating.
I agree a joint activity is a good idea for the first meeting. Might be tricky with Covid but you could maybe just go for a meet at a park with small children? Don't make it too big a deal - but at the same time I think you should introduce properly as boyfriend and girlfriend. Don't just say this is "mummy's friend".

Good Luck - it feels like a big step but personally I don't think you need to make a huge deal out of the first meet-up.