Am I being emotionally abused?

[Heather000]

I’ve been with my husband for 10 years and he’s started punishing me (verbally, passive aggressively) for situations that haven’t happened but he says he knows what I would’ve done in that situation and he punishes me for it. He’ll then do impressions of my voice and what I would say in this imaginary scenario and has a go at me about how I would’ve acted in this made up scenario. This has been going on for a while but has got worse since I’ve gone back to work.

Of course it is
Can you safely get away?

Yes its abusive. And really worrying behaviour.

He sounds quite mentally ill - and it's not up to you to fix that. You can't. Please leave.

It may be difficult to identify but yes.
My ex h did this (and still tries to!!). But he'll kind of make up scenarios of what could have happened or what he thinks happened and basically treat me like it was fact. Over the 12 years we were together it kind of got to the point where I accepted it and let it slide. The mental torture he has put me through since we split was on another level, but he still doesn't think he did anything wrong and that his behaviour was warranted

Yes, and I would also be worried about his MH. but probably best to worry about it from a safe distance.

Do you think he actually believes that these situations were real or do you think he is definitely making these up to gaslight you? Both options are bad of course.
Keep a diary.

Sounds like the reddest of red flags. What else is he doing that is odd? Please start planning your escape.

Have you just had your first child?

I love your username MaitreKarlsson

Based on what you have written, there are definitely red flags here for abuse. Would you be able to leave?

That is very very fucked up behaviour indeed.

Why do you put up with it?

When women on here ask if they're being abused the answer is invariably Yes. You wouldn't ask the question if you didn't already know that something is badly wrong.
You don't have to stay in this relationship OP.

Yes. Here is a good book to read

Lundy Bancroft's book 'Why Does He Do That? docdro.id/py03

www.amazon.co.uk/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling-ebook/dp/B000Q9J0RO?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

For more details:
How He Gets into Her Head: The Mind of the Male Intimate Abuser www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1855942208/ref=cm_sw_r_em_apa_i_gxxAEbBTMRXTM?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

This website does good work on why you stay - brainwashing etc.

www.confusiontoclaritynow.com/

Please contact Woman's Aid for help. It's not your fault. You know if you're in immediate danger

The copying you in a weird voice is a tactic used frequently but the punishing you for events which you've not done is quite disturbing.

I wish you all the best in getting free!

That's another level of fucked up.

Is he mentally ill?

I'd say the same as PP, he is mentally Ill. An ex of mine did exactly this. We'd be totally fine, I'd for example go for a bath,and come down,he'd be there with eyes narrowed and immediately start in on me. His thoughts were his reality, and he treat people according to them, not actual facts. He had a diagnosis of BPD. He wont change.

Yes you’re being abused
Can you phone women’s aid? Stay with a friend? You can leave your home regardless of lockdown to leave an abusive situation

Simply yes. Go. While you can.

So how can you remove somebody like this from your home? The victim should not be the person who has to leave.