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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My relationship is over and I don't know what I need to do next

3 replies

SadAndPregnant · 29/12/2020 08:22

Contrary to my name, I'm not longer pregnant. Instead I have a 2 month old baby and an almost 10 year old (not his) but I'm still sad.

My relationship is just awful. My posting history would suggest that I should have been asking these questions a long time ago. But at least I'm here now.

How do you leave someone? Not emotionally..I checked out a while ago..but physically. I'm on maternity leave and I have an older child who is on the cusp of being diagnosed with autism. My not so DH (who I'm convinced is also on the spectrum) works far too much to be of any help now and we are all in the same house, so what on earth will that look like once we no longer live together?!

I don't have any assets, just debts which I've finally started to manage to get myself out of the hole. I don't have any family, even his, who I adore, are too far away to be of any help.

Where would I love? My credit rating wouldn't support my living independently. I know there's council/housing association but surely I would be waiting a long time? I live in the suburbs of a minor city.

How would I continue to work whilst managing childcare for 2? I remember trying with just 1 and it broke me!!

The only thing I do know is that sooner or later I need to leave this marriage and sooner would work better for my mental health and that of the baby. My older child however, well that's going to be a shit show whenever it's done Sad

OP posts:
SadAndPregnant · 29/12/2020 09:31

A few mistakes in my post

I don't know where I would live..
I live in the suburbs of a MAJOR city

Sleep deprivation is a killer right?!

OP posts:
Wanderlusto · 29/12/2020 09:36

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time op.

I would start looking into what benefits (eg: child benefit from him) you would be entitled to if you left.

Is your current home with him rented?
It might be worth consulting a divorce lawyer to see what you would be entitled to on divorce.

SadAndPregnant · 29/12/2020 19:06

Not it's not rented but it is in his name and only bought this year.

Thanks for replying

OP posts:
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