Husband can’t stand me but won’t leave

[Stiltonloving]

My husband and I have had lots of screaming arguments recently. I don’t think our personalities Match. He is naturally lazy and only gets into gear when pushed.
He is unhealthily angry over minor issues.
I am a go getter he is a slow burner. I am fed up of all his obscure obsessions and “rules” at home for example leaving the curtains shut and not keeping any personal papers in the car due to “privacy”.

He told me he can’t live with me and can’t stand me Boxing Day yet says he won’t leave and I should. We have 3 young children and I do most of the childcare. He doesn’t get up and give me a break in mornings. Atmosphere is better when he’s not around and I do things myself.

He blames me for toddlers bad behaviour saying I am “too soft”.

I can’t afford to have a second mortgage alone I don’t think it’s healthy for us to live together in front of the children now we are planning to separate.

Massive handhold from me

I'm in a similar position but with only one child. Partner wants me to leave but I won't. Today he broke DDs toy bike in anger after I accidentally put muddy footprints on the carpet. Always going mad about housework (but doing very little) and calling me useless over everything.

Definitely go to a solicitor in the new year for legal advice. You don't have to live this way.

@again2020 sorry to hear this
I feel something traumatic has happened in life to mine maybe in childhood as the anger is unnatural.

We had an electric fault recently and he went mad assumed I had caused it “what did you do I know you did this” etc. Completely blazing angry shouting.

No inspired piece of advice here, sorry. I am living with someone who cannot stand me though so just wanted to say that you aren't alone.
We coexist, no affection. Not even arguments anymore, mostly just utter indifference towards each other.
He has rules too. It's all bollocks of course and these days I don't even try to meet his standards. I couldn't care less tbh. But I can't leave either. So here we are.

Placemarking
I hope you're ok op

Spoke to solicitor via citizens advice who confirmed I can’t make him leave. She said he may give in in a few months and agree to move to family but for now mortgage is too big to sell up. Neither one of us can afford to buy the other one out.

He is just a prick but not abusive so I can’t do anything. I guess it’s try avoid each other. I think in the new year I may try set days / evenings where we look after the children and the other one goes elsewhere. Hard in a lockdown but I don’t want to start sniping.

I have let him have the lounge and I have moved into the main bedroom.