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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How can I help my cousin who's in an abusive relationship?

4 replies

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 28/12/2020 18:51

I'm meeting my cousin tomorrow for a walk. I've arranged this because I know through her DF and DSis that she is in a terrbile situation with her partner and as her older cousin I want to help her.
By all accounts he physically hurt her, smashes up the house, demands money, screams and shouts in front of their 6 year old DD, refuses to allow her family into their home and has threatened her dad (my uncle) who is in his 70s. She doesn't have a good track record with men so is downplaying the situation to her family. To the outside world she is a confident and able woman, she has a senior position in a large company.

It really makes me feel sad that she and her little girl are going through this and I'm worried for my uncle's safety and mental wellbeing - he's said he can't sleep because he's so worried.

I know I can't tell her to leave him, it has to come from her so how do I approach it and what advice and information should I give her?

OP posts:
Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 28/12/2020 23:05

Is there anyone with advice? Please?

OP posts:
Londono · 29/12/2020 00:14

Sorry OP, I didn't want to read and run. I think the main thing is to listen to her, not to rush her, but to keep the lines of communication open so she knows she does have support if she needs it. Despite everything, she will want to protect him, so don't rush her.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 29/12/2020 00:43

@Londono Thank you for replying. I'll take it slowly with her. I've made a list of support organisations in case she wants them.

OP posts:
Londono · 29/12/2020 01:05

Yes, good idea. And even recommend Mumsnet - it is an incredible resource and place for support. Women will have been exactly where she is today.

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