She is draining me

[Claire926]

There is a woman I met at a Meetup group. She has latched on to me and is a very negative person. She always disagrees with what I say even if it is a good suggestion. I feel like I can’t have a conversation with her as she will purposely go against what I say. In the New Year I want to phase her out my life. She tends to message on FB messenger. I have asked a few times what her friends have recommended about her problems as she always asks for advice and she always says "if I am honest I don't have any friends" - I can see why now. I just want positive people in my life. How do other people not have these cling ons in their life?

The answer Claire is that people do encounter friends like this but eventually the friendship ends. I'd just back off and be less and less responsive and she'll move on to someone else. You need to.put your mental health first. Friendships should be reciprocal.

I had a friend who talked over me and talked incessantly. Eventually I started to dread meeting up with her and, while I'd check in with her if she was ill, she didn't reciprocate at all when I had a period of significant ill health. I couldn't carry her and her problems any more and just met up less and less until things fizzled out. With messanger, turn off the notifications for a start.

Some people are just so self absorbed, they have no real concern or interest in others. I have a long-standing friend who verges on this. She's ok if things are going well in her life but very needy when they're not. I still value her but sometimes meeting up with her is hard work.

About a year ago I went round to see a retired colleague I hadn't seen for some years. I kid you not - she talked solely about herself for the entire visit. I couldn't believe it - I don't think I have ever experienced someone so utterly and completely unaware that I might have a life, interests etc.

OP keep your contact as low as you can and hioe she moves on.

OP, didn't you recently have some other threads about people in various Meetup groups who keep trying to contact you and you weren't sure how to get them to stop.

Wasn't the advice on both those threads to either tell them you aren't interested in maintaining contact, or to just stop responding? The same advice is applicable here. Out of curiosity, why do you not follow the advice to just stop contact?

You ask how other people avoid clinger ons. The answer is to learn how to be confident enough to say no, establish boundaries, and stop responding to people you have interest in being friends with.