Christmas gift from DP

[Paris14eme]

Been seeing DP for well over a year now. We both have DC, not living together but it’s going well: he’s kind, considerate, a gentleman, good in bed etc. etc. Shared interests, the lot. However, he gave me a giant teddy bear for Christmas. I’m not annoyed or delighted, just a bit “meh” about it. For the record, I’m not a materialistic person in any way (and my kids love this gift) but AIBU to expect something a bit more thoughtful and/or personal? I don’t hate it, but I I put a lot more thought into his Christmas gift(s). I wasn’t rude either- I said a genuine “thank you”! But in hindsight, I thought he’d give me something a bit more personalised : for info I’m 49, he’s around the same age. I did suggest he buy me my favourite perfume (which he knows) or a lingerie set (not massively expensive, like he gave me last year) to point him in the right direction.....Thoughts?!

Was it meant as a present for you and the kids? If so it sounds like he did ok!

One of my closest friends has the happiest marriage ever. They have just had their 48th anniversary. Truly best friends and true loves. He is utterly shit at birthday presents. I've had some spectacular presents from dp's over the years. Would much rather have a dh like my friend & shit presents. Just saying x

I just not just suggest you’ll open a ‘holiday’ account for a weekend away or short break instead of gifts? That way you can make a proper effort when we have the all clear

Well it's not a hanging offence.

Maybe he's just not great with presents but I don't think I'd hold it against him.

It maybe that he's trying to be as romantic as possible and some men think buying a huge clintons bear is classed as that.

He may have thought this was the ultimate heart gift.
I bet next year it won't be a bear

I'm single so didn't get anything but when I have been in relationships I've still not been bothered about pressies. I don't celebrate Valentine's, usually ask for vouchers for my birthday, but am equally as happy with flowers and Christmas gifts are not really that important to me. I'd happily get a nice card, nothing or just something for the house, I've asked for new bedding or towels before now. I think it's the thought, a token gift even is fine. I much prefer someone I'm with to spend time with me than buy me gifts. I think tennis shoes is quite a nice gift especially as it was linked to a hobby you both share.
Tbh this year has been so shit with shops opening then closing maybe he just didnt have time and struggled to get what you wanted. I think after the year we have all had, if he's a decent bloke, you should be happy you got to spend Christmas with a loved one, I think that's a bit more important than material gifts.

Hi OP. My tip for you is, in advance of birthdays and Christmas give him a list of 5 or 6 things you want, and, let him pick from it. You'll get something you want and it will still be a surprise for you X

Probably won it at a fair.
You were lucky I got a goldfish in a plastic bag!

He needs a list to pick from! I can’t imagine why he thought someone over the age of 16 would actually want this.

@BigFatLiar

Perhaps it was just the wrong sort of teddy?

Oh no - did you say 'I'd love a teddy' meaning lingerie, and he bought you a giant teddy?! Any chance?

Mine bought me a coffee maker 😂😂 but I like coffee

@RickJames

Wedge the giant bear between you in the bed. Turn over, sleep peacefully. Do this every night until he gets the message and buys you an appropriate gift.

I got electric hand warmers for when I am marking in my freezing classroom. I love them!

If he's a good partner in other ways then I wouldn't be too pissed off - just give him a list to pick from in future.

Some people really are rubbish at buying presents. It doesn't mean they don't care - they just naturally show their love in other ways.