Over the last year or so I've developed a strong friendship with a man who I have a lot in common with. Over this time my feelings for him have grown considerably and I can't stop thinking about him. It's very problematic as I'm in a long term relationship and we have children. My friend is also in a relationship, albeit a new one. The feelings I have for my friend are getting in the way of my current relationship. I think of my friend all the time and it is getting very difficult to stop thinking about him. He is also my partners friend so double awkward.
Me and my partner are not without our problems and although he has been incredibly helpful and supportive over the last 6 months, maybe longer, in the past he has been very difficult to live with. But he has made a huge effort to be a better person recently. So I have to give him that. He's very helpful around the house and helps a lot with our children too.
But I am unhappy. I feel, along with everything else that's happening right now, that I'm slipping in to depression and I don't know what to do about it. I desperately want to tell my friend how I feel about him but I'm also scared it will ruin everything. I'd rather have him as a friend than not see him at all.
I feel incredibly guilty and unappreciative of my partner. I do appreciate him a lot but I fear I'm not actually in love with him anymore. We have almost split up several times and I am struggling to feel anything romantic towards him. I'm in a quandary. I feel I can't win whatever I do and its affecting my mental health. I would really appreciate any advice. Thank you.