My ex-H is an unhappy and lazy sod. There are no massive hard feelings post divorce. He’s not abusive just a bit crap. He had been seeing DD regularly once per week and EOW. She loves her Dad but he doesn’t do a lot with her and she often comes home without having eaten enough or without clean clothes on (I provided clothes when he left and have topped up now and then).
In the summer he had a bit of a breakdown and left for his parents 4hrs away. He was there for 8 weeks altogether without seeing DD.
Since he’s been back he’s been trying to see DD more but generally being a bit crap. Forgot to pick her up from school (after asking to do pick ups once a week and my reminding him), providing really rubbish packed lunch, not doing any activities on the weekends.
Normally he has Xmas down his parents and they Celebrate the weekend before with his brother and all the kids. This year his mum cancelled and said she didn’t want guests (Covid) so he is at home. He wanted to see DD so I suggested some time on Xmas eve (which he cancelled at the last minute) and Xmas day pm and overnight (she went but returned a few hours later complaining of feeling ill. It was 7pm and she hadn’t been fed). He hasn’t asked to see her again and she hasn’t mentioned him. I also got her to ring him Xmas eve and Xmas day morning. She’ll be 10 in January.
Can I stop now? If he doesn’t ask do I need to keep suggesting DD rings him or asking if he wants to see her? I feel I work really hard to oil the gears of their relationship and I don’t want to! I’ll provide her if he asks but I just don’t want to keep pushing...