Would you steer clear of a man like this?

[GraveyDusts]

I have and now I’m sat here alone wondering if I did the right thing. I’m almost certain I did but just panicking and feeling that lost feeling after a relationship is over. We weren’t together a huge time, 3 years nearly. With covid, there’s been discussions about high risk, vulnerable etc. Anyway, in these discussions he started to have a wider conversation about children who are born with or develop defects and have to heavily rely on the state basically to live. He said he’d never want a child like that and that whilst he accepted that people DO have a quality of life in a lot of instances, in others, for example he quoted a man who had locked in syndrome but could communicate by a machine, he said that man shouldn’t have that equipment and it’s not feasible for the nhs to continue to fund these things. I was horrified by this. I have an aunt who is disabled, never worked because of it but was absolutely wonderful to me growing up and loads of fun. Whilst she could live alone she was also reliant on the state. It hit a nerve with me and I saw him in this cold, politician way. I tried to reason that he’s analysing the economics of things but he was so so cold about it that it shocked me. One conversation started on FaceTime with his dad and his dad was even colder about it! I just suddenly felt really vulnerable around him, like if something had happened to me say in a car accident, would he even support me? So I called time on it. I also feel shaken that I spent this much time with someone without really knowing this side to them. It doesn’t bode well to the future does it.

As a pp noted, this is an opinion straight out of the Nazi playbook — although I’m sure if you raised that he would call you hysterical.

Nope, just aware of historical fact. He sounds like a psychopath. Out of curiosity, what was he like otherwise?

Life will catch up with this charmer (and, likely sooner, his dad).

You don’t have to be psychic to know that. People who hold these views have just been a bit lucky, for a while. They should recognise their luck as a kind of superpower, then use it for good. If they don’t, life tends to bite them pretty hard on the arse at some point.

One day soon these guys will be only a vaguely interesting anecdote from your past, that you find yourself telling the lovely empathetic man you’re next with.

You’ve made the right decision to end it

Can you imagine what he’d say if you had a severely disabled child with him- not all conditions/syndromes/disabilities are found by pre natal scans and tests

What are the references to a doctor? He’s not a doctor, he works in research!

@LondonCrone he was easy to get along with, had minimal friends, maybe quite dismissive of others. When the tories got in he told me his colleagues were sad about it and it was hilarious I’m not massively political either way and I don’t care how someome votes but it did strike me as quite unkind. These were people he socialised with.

Other than that he was pleasant to be around, though absolutely terrible with intimacy. Loved sex, but hated any foreplay or touch or affection. He refused to go on holiday longer than a week as he was too important at work (his words). Funny as I earned more than him and had to work most days even at weekends and would be embarrassed to call myself so important I couldn’t possibly have a holiday. There were other problems with him now I think of it!!