I’m ready to leave but I need help

[Twinkles23]

After nearly 17, this Christmas has sent me over the edge. I’m tired of stepping on egg shells incase I get into a row with DP. I feel exhausted from years of gaslighting, financial abuse etc. If I try to talk to him, he will walk away and it’s like talking to a brick wall. He reminds me all the time it’s his house we live in. I feel like I am being held down with a pillow over my face. Unable to be heard, and unable to get any reasonable discussion from him. I’ve tried everything to make the relationship better. I want to leave.
How do I go about things? I have three kids under 10, one with a disability. How do I go about getting housing? I don’t want to take my children to a refuge. They need as little unrest as possible. I will live here until I can get a property. But I don’t know where to start. I have no job as I’m my sons full time carer. Please help me so I can get the ball rolling.

Hi there.
I couldn't read and not post. I'm sorry that you're in this situation but so glad that you're at a stage where you feel able to get help.
I've no clue how to help but there is a lot of information to look at on here... www.womensaid.org.uk

I'm sure there will be others along in a minute who can advise you better than me.

I wish you all the luck in the world x

Thanks so much. I had been working this morning, and for once I thought I would leave him to do breakfast for the kids. When I had finished working at 10am I came down and asked if he wanted to go upstairs for a break. He replied “oh that would be nice” in the most rudest manner. He then accused me of coming down in a confrontational mood. Which I hadn’t. I feel so frustrated with the constant lies about situations that happen. He said the kids got up at 7am, but it was 8am. I know this seems minor, but after years of it I’ve just had enough. I feel suffocated and I can never get a decent conversation out of him. It all seems very immature.