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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Gift for ex and nanny off kids

7 replies

WingingItAtLife · 26/12/2020 09:22

So I'm new here and not sure if this is the right place to post....

Myself and Ex have been separated since November 13th. Very up and down relationship of 14 years, eventually ended because ex had trust issues with me/was very insecure... Despite me being entirely faithful. I left with the kids as he would have never moved out of the family home (his 'dream' home)

So he text Christmas Eve asking to see the kids for a few hours on Christmas Day. He hadn't seen them by choice for a week.
When I dropped them off today I tried to hand over a carrier bag with a present for him off the kids and one for his mum off the kids. He refused completely to take it, saying he didn't want it. So I left it in the hallway. When I collected kids a few hours later, he had put their toys in the bag with the presents, ready to hand back to me. I noticed and asked if he wants the one for his mother, and he said no, he wants nothing from me.

So now I have Nanny's gift off the kids, is it out of order for me to drop it over myself to Nanny's (his mother's)?
I think of I do, i might get an angry message off him for doing so, but I want the kids Nan to have her present (it's a framed photo of the kids - same as most years)

OP posts:
nolovelost · 26/12/2020 10:40

Do it definitely. What a miserable arse wipe!

dogmandu · 26/12/2020 11:05

definitely give it to her. She will be very pleased I'm sure.

happytoday73 · 26/12/2020 11:10

"Just dropping this gift off from the kids as dB refused to accept it and I knew you'd appreciate it.
I would like to ensure the kids keep a good relationship with you, they love you very much. I hope 2021 is good for you..."

cansu · 26/12/2020 12:33

He sounds a complete wanker. Yes, drop off the gift to the nan.

Purplecatshopaholic · 26/12/2020 12:36

The kids relationship with their gran is not for him to dictate. Of course she should have the gift. Drop it off to her if he is being so petty as to refuse to do it! Honestly, man children!

christmasathomeagain · 26/12/2020 12:39

@Purplecatshopaholic

The kids relationship with their gran is not for him to dictate. Of course she should have the gift. Drop it off to her if he is being so petty as to refuse to do it! Honestly, man children!
Completely agree with this. Its not his decision to turn down a gift for another adult.
WingingItAtLife · 26/12/2020 13:59

Thank you for your replies. I'm totally new to this being separate parents and don't know if I'm doing right or wrong most of the time.
I will drop it off to nanny in the next few days, she will appreciate it I'm sure as she's living alone so always appreciates a visit x

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