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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Tell me this is for the best

51 replies

Paris100 · 24/12/2020 21:28

After Separation then divorce, I started seeing someone new, long distance, and it all seemed to be going well. Lockdown was difficult but we formed an extended household for support after making sure this was allowed. We would travel to see each other when we could.
We agreed that he would come to me for Christmas, again making sure this was allowed with regulations for extended household in Scotland.
He phoned earlier today and said I was a bit off. I explained I’d been busy prepping in the kitchen etc. I was also tired from running around in the lead up to Christmas. He then sent a text dumping me. Dumped by text from a 56 year old on Christmas Eve.
Please tell me that I’ve had a lucky escape.

OP posts:
Eckhart · 24/12/2020 22:32

Why hadn't you dumped him already?

foreverandalways · 24/12/2020 22:34

Bollocks to him...lucky escape...Merry Christmas x

Original poster
Paris100 · 24/12/2020 22:37

@lovellost

I am hurt because I don't know what I have done . It's just so out of the blue . I will be fine I think . No other alternative is there
We can do this! They don’t deserve us! X
OP posts:
8obbingabout · 24/12/2020 23:37

Wow so sorry OP but he has done you a favour for all the reasons you mention above. You have 100% had a lucky escape. Delete/block his number and never look back.

Enjoy your day tomorrow indulge in all the delicious food and drink and TV x

Sundance2741 · 24/12/2020 23:48

Wow, what spectacularly awful timing. However he doesn't sound like much of a catch. Good riddance, I'd say. Hope you get over the shock and rejection asap! Happy New Year (hopefully Xmas Wink)

hadesinahalfahell · 24/12/2020 23:52

I mean, he was bad enough in the first post but in every subsequent post you make he becomes despairingly worse.

SandyY2K · 25/12/2020 12:15

A book on DIY...unless you asked fir it, that's enough to dump him over. What an idiot he is....

Why would his mum who has never met you call you a witch...2 explanations

  1. He's lying and she never said it
  2. He's lied to her about you

Either way, he's not worth taking up room in you head and he doesn't have a relationship with his kids for a reason.

Happy Christmas and Happy belated birthday.🙂

lollipoprainbow · 25/12/2020 13:22

At least you got a text I've just been ghosted !!

lollipoprainbow · 25/12/2020 13:27

@lovellost same ! Mine wanted to hang out over Christmas and now he hasn't even wished me a happy Christmas ! Why do men do this?

Original poster
Paris100 · 25/12/2020 13:42

@SandyY2K

A book on DIY...unless you asked fir it, that's enough to dump him over. What an idiot he is....

Why would his mum who has never met you call you a witch...2 explanations

  1. He's lying and she never said it
  2. He's lied to her about you

Either way, he's not worth taking up room in you head and he doesn't have a relationship with his kids for a reason.

Happy Christmas and Happy belated birthday.🙂

Thank you. I definitely didn’t ask for a book on DIY. Not my thing! I also thought that if his mum had called me a witch, why did he feel the need to tell me that? He could easily have kept it to himself.

Happy Christmas to you too.

OP posts:
lovellost · 25/12/2020 13:59

[quote lollipoprainbow]@lovellost same ! Mine wanted to hang out over Christmas and now he hasn't even wished me a happy Christmas ! Why do men do this? [/quote]
Sorry to hear that you are going through that , at least he hasn't blocked you . I have been racking my brain trying to find what I said or did wrong and I can't find anything Sad. Oh well , hope he messaged you before the end of the day

Mabelface · 25/12/2020 14:10

He doesn't have a present for you. Watch him come crawling back in the new year.

Lozzerbmc · 25/12/2020 14:22

You’ve dodged a bullet for sure for a) him not seeing his kids and b) the diy book and c) the 3some. Stupid man!

ProbablyFault · 25/12/2020 15:22

Happy Christmas OP. He sounds like a right knob.

Eesha · 25/12/2020 15:27

Something similar happened to me years ago around NYE. I had been seeing someone for a few months. I genuinely believe he got a better, nearer offer and decided to make his excuses. I remember him saying at one point I'll thank him for this, and actually in hindsight he showed me his true colours. Pretty poor behaviour.

Original poster
Paris100 · 25/12/2020 15:43

I’m so grateful for all these messages which have kept me going today. Thank you everyone xx

OP posts:
TowandaForever · 25/12/2020 17:02

Hope youve had a lovely day op.

He really doesn't sound like a catch! Please don't take him back.

Original poster
Paris100 · 01/01/2021 09:29

Struggling today! Why is this so hard?

OP posts:
binkyblinky · 01/01/2021 09:37

Ah Paris. I promise it's a lucky escape! Also lots of emoticons this time of year. Have you heard from him at all? X

Bakedbeanhead · 01/01/2021 09:43

Reading through your thread, he really sounds awful and you sound lovely. Urg, I don’t know how these dreadful men manage to date women.

Chin up chicken, 2021 will be your year, Spring is around the corner and this vaccine will be in place.

Treat yourself kindly, he gave you the best Christmas present by dumping you ❤️❤️❤️

Dontletitbeyou · 01/01/2021 09:54

Be grateful that he’s out of your life . Honestly from the outside looking in he sounds awful . You haven’t been together very long , yet he’s blocked you and ignored you already over something petty . He buys you a shit thoughtless present ( likely an unwanted present he had laying around ) and his mother calls you a witch . People only know what we tell them , therefore I can’t help but wonder what he’s been telling her about you . Nothing positive by the sound of it .
You have dodged a bullet , well and truly .

Original poster
Paris100 · 01/01/2021 10:35

@binkyblinky

Ah Paris. I promise it's a lucky escape! Also lots of emoticons this time of year. Have you heard from him at all? X
Yes he phoned late last night not long before midnight. We chatted (in a friendly manner) then he proceeded to tell me all things that had been wrong in our relationship. So messing with my head. So today I’ve blocked him. I know I’ve dodged a bullet but can’t help thinking that he ruined both Christmas and now my New Year.
OP posts:
Original poster
Paris100 · 01/01/2021 10:36

The things he mentioned were mainly to do with long distance.

OP posts:
Thehop · 01/01/2021 10:55

What a cock nostril he is. Then phoning back to make sure you’re dangling incase he changes his mind!

Feck him the selfish Twat. You can do so much better. Remember this was him in the fabulous early days making an effort. Imagine him in 10 years when a shit book was a distant happy memory and he just said happy birthday and farted on your clean sheets. Selfish plonker.

Original poster
Paris100 · 01/01/2021 11:34

@Thehop

What a cock nostril he is. Then phoning back to make sure you’re dangling incase he changes his mind!

Feck him the selfish Twat. You can do so much better. Remember this was him in the fabulous early days making an effort. Imagine him in 10 years when a shit book was a distant happy memory and he just said happy birthday and farted on your clean sheets. Selfish plonker.

Thank you that made me chuckle x
OP posts:
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