Been married 6 years to someone I thought was my soul mate. He had a reputation for being a bit grumpy and anti social but was always lovely to me. Since having my two year old, everything has changed. I had to go back to work full time when my baby was 4 months old and he became a stay at home parent. Since then he's been so grumpy and doesn't want to do anything but sit on the sofa and play games on his phone. I work long hours and have been working from home since the start of the pandemic, so maybe the problem is that I'm home in the next room to hear what's going on all day!
He barely speaks to or plays with our little one, instead he sits on the sofa, playing on his phone or reading while the 2 year old watches TV or plays with toys. Two or three times a week I force him to go out for a walk with him for an hour, and once a week they go to a toddler class that I book. They only go for walks locally where we live, unless I convince him to take him to the park. He doesn't like going to the park because "it's full of children". All I hear all day is, "stop that" "put it down" "be quiet" etc. This month it's a continual "for gods sake, get away from the christmas tree" because he's touched a bauble.
I had a fairly traumatic birth (as most are I guess!) Ending in an emergency section under general anesthetic, followed by post natal anxiety (I think ,- it was undiagnosed). He just couldn't understand how I was feeling, and as soon as I walked in the door for a long commute and long shift the baby was handed over to me, I had to cook dinner, bath etc on my own so he could rest. It's still the same two years later - sometimes I ask him to cook dinner and he does it, but it's still always expected that I'll do everything from 5pm onwards. I start work at 7 while they are both still asleep. They lay around in bed till 9 and then get up. Half the time I prepare lunch for the toddler and supervise him while he eats it. Most days I try and do an activity for my toddler (sand, painting etc) at lunchtime before getting back to work.
So I'm exhausted, and feel so disheartened hearing all the constant whinging at a happy, funny bright little toddler who is honestly joyous to be around. My husband has stopped showering ( now only showering once a week) doesn't get dressed most days and now we have sex probably once every 3 months. I've asked him if he might be struggling mentally since stopping work, and he has told me outright that he's fine and just lazy.
I'm now having panic attacks multiple times a day, but I can't even talk to him about it because he just shuts down and tells me to stop going on at him.
Sorry for the really long post, I'm just so tired and so sad. I feel like I should be happy with my lovely little one but the pressure of being the only breadwinner and trying to give some fun to my little ones day instead of entertaining himself is really getting to me. Is this normal life with a toddler in lockdown or is my marriage ending?