Posting here for traffic - should I have sent dd?

[Concernedmama1]

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Should I have sent dd?2
Today 10:19Concernedmama1

Dd is 2 years old, she started having contact with her dad said since mid 2020 which was court order.. I left him because he was abusive and started being abusive to dd (emotionally, however did through water in her face when she was crying at 8 months old). Cafcass done a report and found dd to be at a moderate risk to violence/harm from ex but said contact should progress because family support lowered the risk. Since contact started dd had a regression in speech. Dd has been going overnight, for a couple of months and each time she has returned home she has been withdrawn, agressive, easily startled, head banging, having night terrors. I have tried to talk to ex about this but he told me not to escalate things again.. health visitor raised concerns and went to social about it, who has offered us both early intervention help for dd.. which I've accepted but ex has rejected saying 'dd behavior while with you is down to you and I've told social I don't need the help' which has raised more alarm bells for me. We are currently self isolating also.

We have a court order that says dd was to be with ex from yesterday to Xmas day but because if the issues and self isolating I have said that contact should be supervised and looking to vary in the new year. Ex is now going to apply for a change of residence because of this breach. Dd saw ex eow for one night and cafcass suggested a video call which ex refused to do and still does.

Should I have sent dd for contact?

I have always believed that the parent who does the hard slog all year round, of raising the kids day in day out - is the parent who gets to wake up with the kids Christmas Day morning.
Regardless of all the other stuff.

No you shouldn't have sent your DD for contact. It sounds like your ex is abusing her - she is showing all the signs. You need to escalate this and stop contact to protect her.

@gingerbreadfox, I have let health visitor know but he is on annual leave. Social can only offer the help which ex is refusing and solicitors are off for xmas.

My solicitor advised that I don't breach the court but what choice do I really have, send her into an abusive situation or breach an order.

@Concernedmama1 if this is the first breach just say that you had concerns which you've stated plus both of you have been unwell.
His response to this was to get bad and threatening custody.

As a child of parents who were separated, ( still have contact with my df) and my ds, we want to spend it with out main parent.

That doesn't mean we don't want to see the other one ( depending obliviously on the situation)