So confused

[Wishuponastar2020]

Saturday night my husband and I had drinks. He was extremely drunk. We started having sex doggy style and it was hurting me and I asked him to stop. He didn't listen carried on( I ended up laying fully on my front not even holding myself up), cum, rolled over and fell asleep.

I got up, dressed and in to the spare room and cried to sleep.

I told him on Sunday morning and got a 'sorry' and then acted like it was normal.

I feel dirty, used and like every bit of trust is gone. This has never ever happened before in the 10 years we have been together.

Am I blowing it out of proportion?

No, you're not. But you are shaken up because your husband, who you have been with for ten years, is comfortable with raping you then pretending nothing much happened.

Talk to Rape Crisis or another experienced service. Don't minimise. Don't have sex with him in your present state of mind.

Perhaps you will learn to live with this. Perhaps it is enough to end your relationship.

I'm sorry you are in this position. It's not your fault. It is all down to him. Not the drink. Him.

No you are not blowing out of proportion at all! You poor thing. I’d seriously think about reporting to the police. It was rape. I hope you have some support.

This is marital rape

No. Bloody hell, he raped you.

I’d talk to rape crisis, who can help you talk about it and decide what to do.

Am very sorry OP.

All of your feelings are valid. He has abused your trust for his own selfish wants, not needs. He had a choice to make and he chose to ignore you completely.

Speak to rape crisis and I'd also suggest not having sex with him (no matter how manipulative and invalidating he might end up being) until you feel there is trust. Tell him this can never happen again and mean it.