Myself and my ex broke up after a 4 year relationship, several weeks ago so still very raw and i'm struggling with guilt even though i don't think i should be... any advice and comfort would help...
As some background, we dating when we were teens briefly, but he met someone else and cut things off with me and then had a relationship with that person, we had no contact years later he reached out, and we met up and then ended up in a 4 year relationship.
For the last few months of the relationship, i had a gut feeling of something not being okay, i asked to check his phone and i found a message to a girl asking to meet up with him, i questioned him and he claimed it was an old friend, nothing ever romantic, so i asked the girl myself and she backed up his story, there was also pictures he had sent to several other girls which were pending so these girls he didn't have as friends on there, and deleted previous, which i thought was weird, i couldn't view the images on snapchat, i asked what he sent and he said he couldn't remember, i clicked on one girls name and there were saved nudes of herself from before him and i were together... but my issue was he sent photos of something he couldn't remember to a girl who he was no longer friends with who previous sent him nudes?? We fell out for a few days and i decided to work at our relationship and try and forger about it. Few weeks past, and i found out he had an onlyfans account, to which he has exchanged explicit messages to, and paid for videos, but also sent sexual videos of himself to her. When i confronted him he lied and said he must of been hacked and it wasn't him. Even though was his password, e-mail, bank card, looked like him on videos, and after i asked him the password then got changed!! I told him i would be ok if he were just paying for a few images, but he crosses the line when he started sending videos to her and messages which were explicit. And then lied to me after, i ended the relationship, and he told me that i was crazy. It wasn't him, i ended it so he doesn't want me now anyway and to leave him alone and blocked on all social media and my number. Since i have felt guilt for some reason because i didn't want to end it but i class that as cheating when your doing these things, it wasn't the first time i caught him out in little lies, so now i'm struggling with the breakup, i since e-mailed him when i got too emotional and he ignored me...
Anyone had anything similar? Or any words of advice
Thankyou