DP Threatened Me

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Hiya, just want to post here for some clarification.

For context, DP and I have a 19 month old DS and I am 22 weeks pregnant with DD. Tonight I was on the phone to my Nan, my DS pulled his nappy off and was standing on the rug he started to wee the tiniest bit and my DP started shouting grabbed him quite forcefully and snatched the nappy straight off me aggressively.
My impulse reaction was to shout 'don't ever do that again' meaning grabbing my son that forcefully, I got up to walk to the bedroom and DP shouted after me 'shout at me like that again and I'll hit you, you c*'
First time he's ever threatened me, I've obviously been seething since. However I am pregnant, my grandad is dying, anxiety around life in general so I don't know if shouting at him like that was OTT, but am I wrong to be so fucked off about the threat?
After he said it he went straight on his Xbox to his friends laughing and joking.
I went in and said to him dare ever threaten me again, he said he didn't threaten and didnt even apologise.
AIBU?

What an asshole. You've got 2 choices - wait and see if he DOES hit you next time, or leave now so I can't happen. I know what I'd do.

This is domestic abuse. It is the start of a slippery slope, especially with the lack of acknowledgement on his part afterwards. He addressed you with a word that makes me shiver at the sexism. Please make a plan to leave him as you are clearly at risk. Domestic abuse often starts in pregnancy. Please call women's aid for help, and ask your GP and midwife for support.

You’ve got to leave. You can’t have those poor babies growing up thinking this is normal. He’s already been forceful with your child, protect them.

When someone shows you who they really are, believe them.

Don't make excuses for him, or say you can't leave.

You can, and you should.

I'd up and leave with your dc. There's a line and he just crossed it.

I'd be tempted to kill him by using the games controller as the weapon of choice. If you would prefer to raise your children in a home with love and respect then divorce the asshole (after reporting his threats to police)

How does your DP normally react when DS does something that frustrates him?
Has he ever given you reason to think that he would harm you or the child before?
How does he normally react when you disagree with each other?

God there are some utterly shitty men out there. What on Earth do they think they are? He's awful. I'm sorry

That xbox would be in the bin.

He’s a bastard.

@cherrypie790

When someone shows you who they really are, believe them.

Don't make excuses for him, or say you can't leave.

You can, and you should.

^ 100% this! I'm normally all for talking things out and stuff being said in anger but the fact he lost his temper over nothing and threatened to hit you I wouldn't stick around to find out whether or not he meant that threat. It starts with verbal abuse OP stuff like putting you down and knocking your confidence and blaming you for pissing him off then the physical stuff will follow soon after. At least if you leave now you and your kids won't have to go through the horrific damage DV can impact on someone.

Grabbing a baby for peeing on the rug is alarming enough (the reality is in a few month/ years when he's potty training- WTF will your dh be like?!?! Literally when you have baubles, shit happens) Its reason to leave. Threatening to hit you because you challenged his physical abuse/ nasty aggression to a toddler? Reason enough to leave. Denying fault and feeling no guilt or remorse? No self reflection? Reason enough to leave.

The fact that he's shown you this side early, when your children won't be too damaged by living through a childhood within an abusive marriage is a blessing. Walk.

What a bastard. Be wary of him

Id be less worried about the threat to you and more worried about how he spoke and grabbed your DS!
Id be the one threatening him if he dare ever treat my DS like that.
Id go and tell him that straight.
Over something like peeing on a rug whilst no nappy on... no, not ok.

You need to leave him - no apology or remorse is not a good sign. How was he parented?
He’s been abusive to you and it’s a very slippery slope.
Please tell someone you trust - don’t keep it a secret.

I'd leave someone for calling me that name alone, let alone the threat. And as for pulling a baby!

I've argued with many, many men - we've shouted and said stupid things. The only one who ever called me names was the abusive one.

This is an abuser, 100 per cent.

Save you children from this complete offence to humanity and leave him, please. Call Women's Aid if you need to. Do whatever you have to do, but get away.

If you stay you’re just as culpable for this abuse of a vulnerable child as he is

@Sway19

If you stay you’re just as culpable for this abuse of a vulnerable child as he is

This is not true, how ridiculous

But you definitely need to leave.

@IRememberMySpaceBabe if two people live in a house and one of them is abusive around children while the other one watches on, they are both equally guilty. Or so the law says

Wow! What an arsehole! I hope you and your son are ok.

She’s not watching on though, she’s recognised the problem and is asking for advice. She’s a victim too. And I think she should leave, as I said in my pp, but she’s not ‘just as culpable.’

Your protective instinct kicked in. Follow it all the way out of the door with your babies.