I am married to a teenager

[LoveSpringHateWinter]

Ok, well not literally. But I feel as if I have a teenage son rather than a husband.

He has turned the spare room into a 'games room' which is exactly the same as the room he had at his parents. He is on his computer from 9am until 11pm at night, and when he finishes work at 5pm he wants to watch cartoons or pay Xbox all evening. He sleeps in there too.

He wears the same clothes for a whole week (night and day) and I have to nag him to change, wear deoderant, brush his teeth, etc etc.

When I subway going for a walk he says no, he wants to stay in, it's too cold, he can't be bothered etc etc.

His diet is crisps, sweets, biscuits and cereal.

He has definitely got worse, I've noticed this decline since he started working from home due to covid in February.

We are both nearly 30. I feel so low that this is my life. I want to have a baby in the not too distant future but it seems I have one already! And I would feel guilty if we had a child as I think it would put too much pressure on him as he's obviously mentally immature.

I am going through a hard time at the moment already, with bad anxiety and depression. I would find it hard to pack my bags and got in my mental state.

Sorry, just needed to vent.

He sounds awful and yes, just like a teenager. I'm sorry but you can't go on as you are. And certainly don't have a baby with him unless you are willing to be a single parent. Can you reach out for support from family or friends? It will be very hard to break up but sounds like one day you'll be happy you have done so.

Eugh. How unattractive he sounds. He won't change.

Start again with a proper man

I'd say start again being by yourself, to reflect, and build up your self-worth as you KNOW you deserve better than this manchild is offering. If you can be comfortable being by yourself you will be in a much stronger position to weed out the weirdos and be ready to have a family with a much more mature individual.

Please, for your sake and theirs, don't bring a baby into this toxic mix.

You are young and don’t have children. Escape! I didn’t and I bitterly regret it. Get out while you can. Find a grown up

I get his point really. I eat what I like now as an adult. If someone wines at me to eat sushi for example because I need to change and eat something I hate, I wouldn't be happy about that. At least you have a happy partner. Mine was useless before having a baby and he really stepped up and grew up surprisingly. But somethings you have to enjoy while you can, don't write him off as a waste of space. We can all be kids at heart x

Eugh. I imagine he has one pasty willy after staying inside for eons, plus it probably is rank and reeks of cheese like a pig in a blanket left out of the fridge. Point being - why would you even hop on that willy to make a baby. Run. RUN

@greenhillss you seriously think this is acceptable behaviour.

One thing strikes me. If he had his own room at his parents house where he 'gamed', how on earth did he meet you OP ? What I am saying is, you must have known he was like this before you decided to marry him ?

My ex was like this. When we split there was no difference at all, and I didn't miss him as he was never 'there' and crap company.

I agree with @soopedup, I'm with a child too. What bugs you now will REALLY bug you if you have a child with him. He might change for a bit (mine did) but from experience if they act like that in their 20s they won't change dramatically. I would change my DS for the world but I do wish he had a different father. I was warned, I didn't listen.

I hope you find someone more suited to you

Leave him. He probably won’t even notice.

Send him home to mummy and whatever you do don’t have kids with him.

@OliveToboogie

Please please don't have a baby with this child, it will not end well.

Agreed. Please do any future human beings a good turn and select a much better father for them.

Four words:

Cut the plugs off.

This is what my mum used to do when we wouldn't tidy our rooms or do homework as kids.

I suppose the modern day equivalent is "change the WiFi password!"

Love how everyone is saying to LTB without asking the obvious question... Have you tried talking to him about this and how much of a problem it is for you? What was his response?

You said it's got worse since covid , how much worse.? Do you think he is suffering from depression, could you speak to him about seeking help

I'm not sure running off and leaving him without even finding out what's going on with him is a nice thing to do

He could be really struggling and if he isn't washing etc it sounds like he is very much in depression

I think you need to seek help for him

I wondered if you have acquired my ex? Except he eats proper food. Time to talk. Playing games is ok but not ignoring you or eating junk

As a cautionary tale, I know someone strikingly like this — he only left the house to go to work. He had a ‘study’ in which he supposedly worked when at home, but actually he gamed and scrolled through social media, and he clearly felt he was doing his wife and children a huge favour by coming down to spend an hour with them, which meant sitting on the sofa half-asleep with his phone.

I think the worst part was that the children absorbed the idea that mothers trotted around making dinner and dropping them to friends’ houses, while daddies gamed nonstop, and they also had way too much screen time, because how do you credibly limit children’s screen time when you are permanently glued to a gaming console or a phone?

OP, his wife finally divorced him when he was 52. And he thinks life is great. He barely sees the children, almost never overnight, and has a new house that just has a sofa and a PS4 in the sitting room.

You may find that your mental health improves overnight when you move on from this man-child.

You are wasting your fertile years on a loser and waster. Have you heard of the sunk cost fallacy?

OP, his wife finally divorced him when he was 52. And he thinks life is great. He barely sees the children, almost never overnight, and has a new house that just has a sofa and a PS4 in the sitting room.

Ew.