Has anyone done couples counselling and stayed together?

[Rainallnight]

I’m having issues with DP. We have two DC. I don’t think I want us to break up, but I definitely want us to get along better and think we need help to do this.

However, anyone I know who’s gone to couples counselling has broken up.

Has it actually helped anyone to stay together and get on better?

And does anyone have any recommendations for a good one?!

I'm one of the ones who broke up. However I had already checked out of the relationship by then. And yet the counsellor didn't see that. So I wouldn't recommend mine.

Yes and would highly recommend our counsellor. Will send you a DM.

Yes. Got marriage counselling about 9 years in to our relationship. Now been together 16 years and very happy and going strong. If we hadn't had counselling I honestly think we would have divorced by now and our children would never have been born - or if they had it would have been into a relationship as damaging and unhealthy as my parents relationship was.

We went to Relate.

My DH and I have occasionally had couples counselling to deal with communication issues and found it very helpful. A few years ago we went for family therapy because there was too much anger and shouting in the house and we were sure we could go better. We had about 6 or 7 sessions in all and it made a real difference. DH and I have quite an American attitude to counselling/therapy - we’re very happy to do it and go when sth needs fixing and we can’t seem to do it ourselves.

We had counselling about 12 years ago and are still together. I can't really remember anything the counsellor told us, I think it was more the shared commitment to resolve issues that kept us going. Having counselling showed each of us that we both wanted to try so we did and the rest is history.

Yes, it helped us communicate and we both felt listened to! Would recommend.

Yes. Ultimately broke up. But it might have helped if we had gone sooner. Learnt loads about myself, understand myself better and actually then DH and i think i am now better at relationships as a result. I would go again if i got into difficulties again.

We went on 4 separate the occassions, multiple times each time. Not all marriage counsellors are made equal, 2 were not great, just managed to patch things up to hobble on. One was amazing, really improved the relationship for a period, we moved abroad so could no longer see her. More recently we went again, great counsellor but I had already started to check. It was just too hard for my partner to sustain the changes required for us to get along, so we have finally split. This was over a 7 year period.

Yes, we had couples counselling after the birth of our first child and stayed together. I had a horribly traumatic birth and postnatal period that DH had zero sympathy for and took no responsibility for the baby. I was being crushed by PND and PNA and PIL acted horrifically. It's not a magic fix but it helped me find my voice and boundaries within the relationship and that has changed things. Also DH acknowledged how inappropriate PIL are we put in some boundaries there that was positive. We had around 5 sessions with 1 counsellor. He seemed to fit the bill on paper but barely said a word during the sessions so I don't know if I would use him again

Yes. We went to relate for ten sessions. We are so much stronger one year later - if we hadn’t, our relationship wouldn’t have survived this year (even without Covid!)

We bonded over how shit ours was.

We are still together because of me. No one else.