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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Following on from an AIBU thread, is it really true that if a man wants a vasectomy . . .

15 replies

bran · 23/10/2007 20:59

most clinics won't go ahead without his wife's signature?

Thread here.

Surely a man's fertility is his own business. Imagine the outcry if GPs refused to prescribe the pill without the husbands consent.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 23/10/2007 21:02

No, at least not IME.

Can you imagine the outcry if women had to get their spouse's signature for their contraceptive choices.

It's bullshit.

My DH went to see about a vasectomy - I opted for sterilisation instead for my personal reasons.

He was not asked for my signature.

What a load of bollocks.

Anyplace that did this should be reported to the GMC immediately.

A man has just as much right to control his reproductive choices as a woman.

Original poster
bran · 23/10/2007 21:05

Oh good, I was considering getting wound up about infringements of civil liberties etc, but I'll relax again.

OP posts:
SeaShells · 23/10/2007 21:06

ex-dp got his done at 26yrs old, we wern't married but had been together on/off for 10yrs and had 3 dc, he got it quickly and easily without needing my consent.

Boogalooblue · 23/10/2007 21:09

When my dh went to see the doc about the snip then I was asked to go to an appointment too.

I refused because we had no childcare and also because I do not feel that it has anything to do with me - he could have an affair without my agreement and same goes for contracting HIV etc.

How dare these pompous so and so's make up rules and say that the wife has to 'agree'

Tell the gps to feck off is my opinion

Elkat · 23/10/2007 21:31

Mu hubby has his done, and I was never consulted. Although they did want to show me his removed bits afterwards. Eugh!

HappyWoman · 24/10/2007 07:49

my h had it done - the dr wanted to be sure it was the right thing as it is so permanant. i was asked to go along and we all turned up - 4 dc - there was no question of them not doing then!!!!

I think it is sensible to consider all views though. i think the dr would be irresposible if they did not at least ask about partners feelings etc, there is a risk of people changeing their mind in the future if things are not discussed beforehand.

Hekate · 24/10/2007 07:55

No. I didn't have to sign anything when dh had his. I never went near the doctor, or hospital or anything.

DH had it done privatly. I wonder if it makes a difference if you have it done on the NHS. Maybe they're more bossy?

PregnantGrrrl · 24/10/2007 07:57

in the 'old' days, if a woman wanted to be sterilised and was married, it would be an issue. Hasn't been for a long time though.

all they may do is ask about personal circumstances etc, to make certain a person is sure it's what they want.

bealcain · 24/10/2007 08:14

my DF went to the gp about it and i didn;'t have to sign anything, but he was asked if he wanted me to know about it? ie if they needed to ring could they say anything! that would then go against that, they can get it done without you knowing!

however you have to be of a certain age. they wont give it to df even though he has three children and is over 30......it's because of my age. makes all the difference to me as i want more but surely it should be his choice when he has it!

there was a story near us in the apaper a while back about a 21yr old who had 7 children by 5differnt women that he didn't pay any maintenance for as he's on benefits, he went to his GP about get the snip and they said no because of his age. he might meet someone in the future who wants kids....how wrong is that????

PregnantGrrrl · 24/10/2007 08:20

DH is getting one after safe delivery of this baby- he's 37 and will have 2 kids then. Me being 11 years younger than him shouldn't affect him being given one, should it?

DaisyWhoooo · 24/10/2007 08:36

"they wont give it to df even though he has three children and is over 30......it's because of my age."

Now that IS disgraceful IMHO - imagine if it was the other way round and you didn't want more children and your partner did!

bealcain · 24/10/2007 08:45

i know daisy, awful! not mcuh we can use in way of contraception either so.......more babies for me i think!

Elkat · 24/10/2007 17:03

pregnanct grrrl... I think the answer to that is it depends where you live. My friend's hubby had it done and had to have counselling when he had his done... my hubby sinply had to sign a piece of paper. They have no concept of how old I am - they never asked him that question. He just told them that he had two kids and didn't want any more. He had to phone back two weeks after the appointment was made to confirm he wanted it done, and then on the day he had to sign a form. Nowhere in the process was I, my age or my wishes considered. This happened last month. However, this is very different to some other people's stories, so I do think it varies according to area.
HTH

PregnantGrrrl · 25/10/2007 06:10

Fingers crossed then elkat!

foofi · 25/10/2007 06:52

When dh had his done recently, the paperwork he got said his partner should come with him for counselling. I didn't see the need, and I had to look after the kids, so I just didn't bother going. No one asked him about me when he was there.

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