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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Domestic Violence next door

39 replies

Longdale · 23/10/2007 19:50

I'm starting to think the house next door is cursed. When I first moved into this house it was empty and then this wierd couple moved in...the woman (in her late 40's, early 50's) would throw stones at my window and chase cats around her garden...then one day the police arrived and a few minutes later, an ambulance and the man was taken away with a huge bandage around his neck...she's tried to slit his throat.

Anyway, they moved out. Then this other couple moved in and they were even worse...constant arguining, shouting, screaming...he would kick her out and blast Eminem songs through the window at 2am and 3am whilst she stood shouting and screaming on the doorstep. Occasionally we would hear him beating her up, one time he chased her outside and dragged her across the garden by her hair before beating her up in front of a load of workmen (which went down like a lead balloon) and then one time he beat her up so badly that an ambulance was called and she was taken away on a stretcher.

They moved out.

Then another couple moved in...the ones that are there now and at first they seemed fine but now I'm hearing the odd argument and a couple of weeks ago I heard an argument spiral out of control and she ended up screaming and crying and he was shouting "I dont care" as she screamed...seemingly in pain.

Today it happened again only this time it was obvious she was being beaten up, she was screaming, shouting "sorry", crying...he was shouting and balling at the top of his voice, telling her she was crazy and it was her that was the problem...she was the reason he had turned nasty etc...then something which really disturbed me...their 2 year old started crying and he made the woman sing "wheels on the bus" really loud and she was crying all the way through and clapping her hands really loudly as if she was being forced to do it...I was scared just listening to it so god knows what the child must have thought.

My first instict was to keep out of it but because we've had so many violent families next door I fear I'm getting "used to it" which really shouldn't be the case.

Should I keep out of it or...what would you do?

OP posts:

LittleBellaLugosi · 23/10/2007 21:05

I think you already know what you should do, don't you?

Maybe you've already done it.

savinggrace · 24/10/2007 00:59

please please PLEASE call the police as soon as possible. I'm just escaping an abusive relationship & when I was last attacked I tried to call the police and my ex-partner grabbed the phone off me & said that I was the one beating him.. at this stage I fled my own house with our newborn baby & he proceeded to rob me...

you are right that you do become de-sensitised to violence - but do you want this to happen to an innocent baby - what sort of problems will the little one have in the future?

I'm now being looked after by Womens Aid - which are a fantastic organisation offering me and my elder son counselling & also Homesafe have just come and made my house into fort-knocks!

Things will only get WORSE - they never get better... please be a good neighbour..

Good Luck x

dizietsma · 24/10/2007 01:38

My mum used to get beaten up by my stepdad all the time. Their fights were so awful there's no way the neighbours didn't have hear them, see them when they spilt over into the street. I always hated my neighbours for not caring enough to make the small sacrifice of an anonymous call to the cops whilst we all cowered under his violence for years. Please, call the fucking cops.

PregnantGrrrl · 24/10/2007 06:40

I have called the police when our neighbours were screaming so much, we honestly thought someone was being killed in the street. they came quickly, and he left for the night.

if nothing is going on, at worst they will be inconvenienced and embarrassed to have the police turn up, at best you could be saving someone's life.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 24/10/2007 07:58

Please call the police.

My mum did this for a former neighbour of hers - you could hear shouting, items being thrown and crying at all hours. She was very grateful although she could never find the strength within her own self to ultimately leave him.

FioFio · 24/10/2007 09:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

maisemor · 24/10/2007 11:42

Longdale please tell me that you called the police!!??

cantgetcomfy · 24/10/2007 12:16

Having a very similar situation with our neighbours. Often hear shouting and screaming from next door and have had the police at our door numerous times to ask if we've heard anything after someone has reported incidents. She has told us that her boyfriend moved out because he was violent. We have even had their landlord at our door about three weeks ago asking what was going on because she's been told the lady of the house had been arrested for attempting to stab someone. Everything seemed to quieten down until this morning when it all kicked off again. It sounded (new house - thin walls) as if the boyfriend (who had moved back in) had came home from nightshift to find another man there, he chased the man out the house shouting at the top of his voice and then the boyfriend left with their DS straight after. There was then an hours worth of her screaming down the phone at someone.

Our DS seemed to be able to sleep through all of this even though DH and me couldn't!!

Baffy · 24/10/2007 12:27

I really hope you have called the police. The poor woman.

But the poor child

They both need to get out of there.

Songbird · 24/10/2007 13:18

Again, similar situation with our neighbours. There have been various incidents in the few years since they moved in and the police have been out several times, but it seems we haven't known the half of it. He's just been put away for trying to set fire to his wife .

The police might not be able to do much if the wife doesn't want to press charges, but they do take it seriously. You may be worried that there will be repercussions for you, but you'll regret it if something really terrible happens and you did nothing.

I'm not trying to guilt you into calling the police, but it's just a phone call! I wish there was a [supportive] smiley!

bamaHamaHorror · 24/10/2007 13:34

"their 2 year old started crying and he made the woman sing "wheels on the bus" really loud and she was crying all the way through and clapping her hands really loudly as if she was being forced to do it..."

that is the saddest thing I've heard for ages (having spent most of the day singning "wheels on the bus" to my own ds)

Please call the police

fireflyfairy2 · 24/10/2007 13:48

Longdale I hope you called the police.

If you didn't, promise you will next time? Although I hope there isn't a next time

sparklygothkat · 24/10/2007 13:59

we used to live next door to a 'cursed house' too. The people that lived there when we moved in used to fight and he would beat her up. I didn't phone the police but did go and check on her when he was at work.

The next couple were 'odd' and kept fighting too. The couple after that were lovely, but they said that the house had a strange feeling to it and moved out. The couple after that would fight, scream, throw things, sing at 3am. Once I heard a huge crash and thought someone had bricked my car, when I checked he had thrown something through a double glazed window. Again I didn't phone the police, I was too scared to at the point (we were having huge problems with other neighbours and the police were useless in that case)

I moved in the end.. and found out that the last couple had split up and she moved out (I think she got fed up with being his punching bag)

vacaloca · 25/10/2007 10:00

The house next door to me was 'cursed' too and had 3 consecutive couples who were violent. I only called the police once when I was sure the woman was being hit (all the other times I could hear furniture being smashed, but never definitely someone being hurt, just crying). When we did call the police, they asked if there was a child in the house as they tend to respond quicker if there are. There was a 2 year old and they came round within minutes. They spent a long time in the house calming things down and when they left I could hear the bloke crying. I really hope this was him realising how bad things had got and that he had to change. They've since moved out but I'm very glad we made the call to the police and regret not having done it on the other occasions even if I wasn't sure someone was definitely being hurt. I just kept thinking how nervous and on edge I got when I could hear an argument brewing and kept imagining what this woman and child must have felt like if I was on edge. They must have been besides themselves.

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