Hi
First time here - I appreciate that it might not be the most appropriate place for me (I am a man), but it looks like a lot of good advice is given.
I have been with my girlfriend for nearly four years. We don't officially live together, but she was spending a lot of time at my place before the lockdowns, and stayed here for about five months during the first COVID wave, and still stays a lot of the time now (we aren't in the UK so COVID restrictions are less severe). In that time, she did next to nothing around the house. I do all the laundry, all the cleaning and vacuuming, 90% of the tidying, and 99% of the cooking. Before she semi-moved in, I tended to batch cook once every few days and reheat something. On the rare days when I suggest something easy from the freezer now she won't want it, and will cook for herself, but not do any of the kitchen tidying and cleaning afterwards. I've tried to ask her to do things, but she is so slow and it ends up being quicker to do it myself. She doesn't drive or own a car, so I have to do all transportation. It was a pain to organize anything fun at the weekends as it would be difficult to get her out of the house before noon.
I have been reluctant to commit fully, because I don't want the rest of my life to be like this. If we ever to have kids, I could see myself doing all of the household work, and sorting all the child issues. I am a little older than her (33 vs 30), but I feel like the difference in maturity is huge. We are both employed in decent jobs, so that isn't an issue, but our attitudes to money are different. I feel like I am the one who has done all the hard saving for a future - she continually spends money on things. She talks about moving in together and buying a house, but I am not sure if I want to.
Is there anyway to resolve this? I do love her, and it would break her heart to end things, but I just feel worn down from all directions.