Ex keeps contacting me

[RedVixen]

I need a little help understanding my ex's motives for contacting me.
I found out at the beginning of November that he'd been cheating on me for 4 months, obviously we broke things off. There was the follow up questions over text to figure out what he was playing at. He's still seeing the girl he cheated on me with, but claims she's just a distraction because he doesn't know what he wants.
When we've argued he says that we'll never get back together, and he's "just being free". But then in the same conversation he's saying how he gets so upset when he sees a photo of us together, and how he's ruined inside. And his reason for not getting back together is because our relationship won't be the same, which I accept.
What i can't understand is why he contacts me pretty much every day trying to have normal conversations with me. At first I saw it as a sign that he regretted the cheating and was trying to make amends, but he's still seeing the other woman so that can't be the reason. I've had countless arguments with him to say that I can't talk to him like everything is normal when he's still sleeping with her and being so indifferent to my feelings. He just says it's none of my business what he does anymore, he still talks to me because he likes talking to me and he'll stop contacting me if that's what I want. I ignored his messages for a while but he still was contacting me every day, even when I made it obvious that I was reading the messages and choosing not to reply.

So really my question is, why does he still want to talk to me when he's seeing the new girl and has no intentions of wanting a relationship with me? Even when I've made my feelings about it known?

Sounds like my ex who wanted us to still be friends after he cheated, no you don’t get to be my friend you cheating lying scumbag, but I was the one with the problem then, I should have just ‘got over it’, he’ll never take any responsibility for being in the wrong. Unfortunately we have children together to I can’t just block 😩

It could be that he wants to be absolved of any guilt. If you accept his friendship, then he’s not all that bad then, is he?
Just block him. He’s a scum bag for doing this to you. It’s all about him and nothing is about you.

He says you won't get back together? You have to ask yourself what makes him think he is in the position of making that decision? Because he knows he has the power and can click his fingers and you'd go back.
Be stronger than that. He's playing you like a fiddle, block him or forever be on the back burner while he shags around.

The question is "Why are you taking part in this?". It takes 2 people OP. If you don't like it, don't do it.

Block block block.
He has far too much of your head space.
Ignore his words, see his actions. Interfering in your day, putting your gift on his fb(block that too) they are little hooks to keep you tied to him. It takes two to play a game. Stop responding to him. Have a deep clean of your space and remove every reminder of him that you can.
It is horrible when a relationship breaks up. I hope you will find some peace soon.

You're his backup plan.
He thinks he can keep you sweet and you'll come running when he clicks his fingers.

I don't understand why he'd think that was a normal thing to do, give your ex gf's dog a present when you want to be "free" from them?
Me neither.
It's almost as if..... he wants to keep in your good books.
You're better than a Plan B though.

He’s trying to turn you into the ow. What a prick!
Block him. Just tell him to never contact you again as you’ve had enough of him. Then block.

Narcissistic triangulation.

As pp said, he us trying to turn you into the other woman.

Not necessarily in the sleeping with you sense but more that he wants to play you off against the woman he cheated on you with, at some point down the line. He wants you both dangling on a string wondering why you alone were not enough and what the other woman has that makes him go back to her.

Basically, he wants his ego massaged and will play any woman in his life like a marionette in order to get it.

Because you are letting him? Ask the real question. Why are you still giving this cheating loser headspace?