DH and chores

[Lightuplight]

I see lots of threads about DHs not doing their share in the home and my DH can be very lazy, but I'm here to complain about a different problem.
I do the washing during the week, put most of it away as I wfh. I don't iron.
At the weekend, I usually lie-in on a Saturday as I'm up qith youngest DC during the night on weekdays, which I don't mind provided I can catch up on sleep at weekends.
DH takes it upon himself to interfere with the washing at weekends and I have spoken to him countless times about the following:

1. Mixing colours and ruining clothes 2)Emptying every single washing basket onto the floor of our kitchen every weekend with the intention of washing every single thing and it being on the floor of our kitchen all weekend,only for me to have to take it all back upstairs to the laundry basket on a Monday morning.
2. He puts the dried clothes into a messy pile where it all gets creased and I then have to throw it all back in the tumble dryer even though it's dry just to get creases out, or get the fucking iron out.

I'm actually livid as he's done 2/3 already this weekend after I've spoken to him already this week about not interfering in the washing. I would honestly prefer if he just didn't get involved because he makes a mess, ruins clothes and creates more work for me when I don't iron!!
I'm ready to lose my shit at him when he walks through the door in an hour's time. Can you help me find a way to get him to stop pissing me off with this weird behaviour?
I feel like he's antagonising me as he does it time and time again.

To add: he does this when I'm having my lie-in so there's just no stopping him. We will have things planned for late morning/early afternoon so he doesn't realise that there isn't time to do 4 loads of washing on a Saturday when we're going out. I do 1 load every day during the week just to keep it ticking over which I think works well. He seems to want to see the bottom of the washing basket by a Sunday evening but just makes tons of piles of creased clothes to be put away and extra work!

He washes his clothes, you do yours, look generous by saying you will wash the dc's. Assign Saturday as his day.

We split chores into the ones each of us don’t mind doing / are decent at. Is that an option for you? DP is also shit at laundry in a similar way to yours, whereas I wash different types of things in different cycles, temperatures and spin speeds. So laundry is my chore. I hate cooking and am shit at it, so that’s DP’s chore.

Or, do you think he does laundry badly as an act of micro aggression or planned malevolence? Because if so, that’s an entirely different problem and much harder to address.

First answer sounds good

I don’t know the right answer but I had the same issue. I had lots of expensive clothes ruined. Jumpers shrunk etc. It was so bad I considered leaving him because it just was constant. I was so fucking annoyed. In the end I brought separate laundry baskets and gave him his own. So he now sorts his own washing out. My basket is in a different room and he doesn’t touch it. It works.

@TW2013

He washes his clothes, you do yours, look generous by saying you will wash the dc's. Assign Saturday as his day.

Yes, this. Too many women martyr themselves and then complain afterwards. Let him wash his clothes his way and he can ruin them if he likes. Explain to him that you want to save him from your nagging so it looks like you're doing him a favour, and he's therefore responsible and free to do whatever he likes with his clothes.

I don’t really have an answer but I commiserate; DH has a habit of doing about 4 loads in a day which will never all dry and it drives me crazy.

Yes I think telling him to do just his clothes on a Saturday could possibly work. But I know he'll want to bulk out the loads and will add the DCs clothes to his own as he thinks that half a load is a big waste. I may have to hide the washing basket for myself and DCs!

Similar but different here. He will put mixed loads in (grrrr) but often not fill the machine when there's plenty more in the laundry basket. We usually hang on an airer- he never spreads things out properly so they dry horribly creased. I iron some things but never his clothes - he's happy with that and only irons something for a business meeting. Mostly he does nothing, washing-wise. If I leave clean clothes out to put away he piles them on a chair or chucks them back in the wash. As do my teens.. so annoying.

My DH is actually banned from washing. Why on earth does he think it’s ok to put a pair of black jeans in with my DS’s school shirts on a white wash 😡😡😡😡😡

What an absolute moron.

I couldn't live with a man who couldn't distinguish between whites and colours for a wash.

My teen sons were able to do laundry.
It really isn't difficult.

Is he being deliberately thick/PA?..to annoy you?

Because I'd have to ask him what his problem is.

My sympathy

Separate laundry bags as pp suggested. The night before your lie-in, put the family laundry bags in a locked wardrobe. Write a list of damaged/ruined clothes plus prices, and sellotape to front of washing machine. Bit passive aggressive, but he's being a tit and deliberately not listening to you.

Simples....he washes his own clothes.
But unless you have 10 ppl in your house, washing every day seems a little OTT.

I am the one who does the laundry in this house and that is the way I like it. All just done my way. I really don't want anyone else's input.

If I am away then they all do their own, but when I an not then everyone can bugger off out of my utility room.

OMG, same problem. What is wrong with these men, honestly? Pretty pink and white garments becoming nasty grey after being washed with blacks, shrunk cashmere sweaters, ruined delicates, not emptying kids clothes pockets before putting them in the machine, I had it all...

And the bugger doesn’t listen. I begged and begged not to mix etc at first. Then I banned him from washing my&kids clothes completely. He doesn’t for a few weeks, then starts again, then I have another go at him and he stops for a couple weeks - we’ve been through this cycle about 20 times through the years.

I saw him accidentally throwing something of mine together with his the other day and very gently reminded “do you still remember I asked not to?”, he answered in a very irritated tone that he’s not stupid and stop going over and over about it, then next week washed (and ruined) my clothes again!

Phew... thanks for starting this topic, I thought I might be the only one going crazy)))