I’m hoping to get some opinions, as my mind is so confused and was hoping you guys would be able to give some impartial views! I have a ten week old baby girl, who is gorgeous! The relationship with my partner is really strained at the moment and we have argued a lot since she was born! He started a new job the week she was born, so I have voluntarily done all the nights and slept downstairs for the past ten weeks so he can concentrate on his job! Over the past week we’ve moved into the same room, as she sleeps more during the night now! My partner loves the baby but has a very relaxed attitude to the point I find it really frustrating! If he changes her nappy there are many times after I discover he hasn’t done the baby vest up properly and other times just hasn’t done it up at all, then put the baby grow over the top! Other time’s he won’t put the baby grow back on and will go to put her to sleep with just a vest on! When I first asked him if he would dress her properly he said she’s fine what’s the big deal! Now when I ask him he tells me to shut up and tells me I have OCD! I’ve also been trying to get her in a really calm space in the early evening but he comes home from work and excites her! Again when I’ve tried to explain he tells me to just stop Moaning! Last night he said he’s going to take the baby to see two of his friends in separate locations, I explained that it was tier four but his reply wAs she’s my baby stop trying to control me and used the fact I took her to a socially distanced baby sensory class against me (which I had asked if he wanted to go instead of me but he said no and laughed it off) Again, I don’t feel my request is unreasonable.
It’s got to a point now where the lack of respect for me as a mother makes me feel quite depressed and the genuine requests I’ve asked from him now come across as rude and snappy! If he spends a day with her and then I go to change her or feed/play with her he says things like ‘don’t do that she doesn’t like that’ or if he changes her out of an outfit I’ve put her in that he doesn’t like he says things like ‘daddy will put you in nice outfit today and get you out of those uncomfortable clothes.’ I’ve tried to talk to him about how I feel disrespected as the baby’s mother but he always says he does respect me, thinks I’m starting an argument or being sensitive and i can’t control him! My mind is completely muddled as I don’t think expecting to put babies clothes on properly is unreasonable! Any advice would be greatly appreciated, as I really want to be respected as a mother! I put so much time, care and effort into looking after the baby and want to work as a partnership but st the moment it feels like two different people trying to look after one child! I feel the way he is being is starting to make me feel depressed and a failure as a mother. Thanks in advance for reading.