Online relatuonship understanding a guy

[Jijujihen99]

A guy I met online 10 months ago but haven't seen him yet but we will (or I think so). because of corona,(he lives in another country )he couldn't come , I can t understand him.at the begining we talked a lot almost every day about ourselves our families about everything , then he started talking less then much less,once he didn't text me for 20 days I started worrying then he sent me a text then we returned to texting but not like the begining of the relationship .sometimes , I start the conversation but he only sends short texts or takes time to reply sometimes I feel like he is bored and doesnt wanna talk . Once I got mad and told him about it he said he we busy and his phone wasn't next to him .. last time , he didn't text me so I did .. he left me on seen for over a month I started accepting it. I've got very angry then out of nowhere he texted me , I didn't reply for 2 days he kept sending texts saying he will explain I told him that what he did was wrong so he said it was true, I left him on seen because I didn't like the answer then 10 days later he texted me so I told him I won't talk unless he explains he said has a problem but didn't want to tell me about it .. I decided to give him another chance I told him that those behaviours are unacceptable and I don t want them to be repeated again, he said "okay that's clear " , we talked for 2 weeks then he disappeared again I texted him last week but I felt that he was bored so I ended the convo quickly .. it's been 10 days now but he hasn't show up yet but I think he will show up out of nowhere as usual . I can't understand him.. what does he wants ..he said that he wants to meet me sometimes he talks gently sometimes he disappears without any reason ..I know few things about him but he knows more things about me help please what should I do beacause i feel like attached to him .Ps: it s not a fake account because we have mutual friends and i saw him twice in a private course 4 years ago

Honestly, I would forget him. He probably is bored. There's only so long you can have an online relationship with someone without meeting up. Unless you meet up the relationship can't progress and it would I imagine become quite boring.

Give it up. Honestly, please have some self respect and dignity.

Block his number, delete it, live your life.

Thats a very complicated and long story, but seriously, you've put your everything into nothing.
This isn't a relationship, no more than me replying to you right now is a relationship, we could talk all night but im just a stranger to you.
The same that this person you've put all your time and effort into is still, just a stranger.
Not meaning to cause any offence, but after covid and when it allows you need to put your time and effort into someone "real" someone you can actaully meet.
Please dont spend any longer onto this none relationship... youre only hurting yourself.

He's a sociopath/narcissist. You're lucky he's in another country. Block his number and move on.

Just to add, if he "disappears for no reason"
Sorry, there is a reason and its because he's busy doing something or someone else.
Anyone that is genuinely interested in someone doesn't not communicate for weeks on end because they are busy.
You've already said you don't know much of his day to day life
There's a reason for that.
You have been genuine,.he is not.

Block and delete all contact. You are wasting your time.

Block and move on

If he wanted to talk to you he would make the effort. Remind yourself that you're worth more

Block and go on dating sites to chat instead.

Ultimateblends is right.
There is no relationship. You have a pen pal at best.

queenofknives is right

My exH, notice the EX did this to women online, for who knows how long, until I caught him.
My therapist suspected covert narcissist/sociopath tendencies.

He's probably chatting to other women besides you.
The whole situation sounds very hard work. Chatting for 10months and discussing yourselves can only be done for a certain period. It gets a bit mundane and boring.
Knock this on the head and move on.

I feel like he is bored and doesnt wanna talk bingo.

With kindness, you're far too invested; it's not a relationship.

You both probably started out with good intentions of meeting (perhaps he does this regularly for kicks as PPs say but you don't know that for sure).

However, the global situation has made it impossible to meet in person and decide if you want a real relationship. Therefore the chat has fizzled out and you are now someone he just texts occasionally.

Move on and start OLD if you want to meet someone. And in future, never get this invested until you've met in person several times. You don't really know someone you've only spoken to online. Your mind will have filled in a lot of gaps to make him a great potential partner when in real life, he could be that, or he could be anything but. You just don't know.

Block him if that makes it easier.

You are not in a relationship, never were, you've been chatting to a stranger for months and unfortunately become invested in something that is little more than a casual pen-pal type arrangement. Just because you've shared personal information with him doesn't make you BF/GF and he owes you nothing. It's a bad idea to get close to anyone until you've met in person as people can pretend to be anything behind an online profile. In future I'd suggest only chatting to people OLD for a short period of time before actually meeting them so you don't invest in a fantasy behind a screen.

This is not a “relationship”. Move on.

He's not that interested. You're a way to fill time.

If you could treat it the same way, that would be sensible. Investing in it emotionally is not.

News flash.

Its not a relationship, youre someone he texts when he feels like it / is bored.
You dont feature in any part of his actual life and never will, for him its rather convenient youre in another country. Saves actually having to meet you.

Try looking for a real boyfriend at cubs, or brownies, wherever the kids hangout these days.

He's just not that into you.

This guy isn't serious about you and he's not treating you with respect. I'm sorry to say that because I know it might feel hurtful but you need to start looking at his behaviour and realise that he isn't who you think.

I know it's difficult to travel at the moment because of the pandemic, but there was nothing stopping him from sending you a message. Less than minute - "hey just to let you know I won't be around much for a while because there's something going on. I will explain everything when I have a chance". Or something similar just to let you know. Just disappearing from someone - more than once - is not a sign that you are committed to that person or that you are serious about them at all. And he's done it more than once. There's no extenuating circumstances that make that ok.

In my opinion, you need to try and forget about him and remind yourself you deserve someone who is actually there.

Move on, he's stringing you along with his excuses and sounds like he has you a bit hooked on him - and he knows it. He's probably talking to other women or in a relationship already. The internet makes it so easy for people to lie or scam other people for an ego boost. The sad thing about it is that if you talk to someone for a while it can build a false sense of intimacy in your mind and sometimes they can come across like a dream partner because your mind fills in the gaps you can't see. In reality if you met him for real he could have a crazy mannerism you hate, or dress really badly or smell of BO but you'd never know because you've never met him. You're trapped in an illusion with him