Please read all it all sorry for it being long. So I sadly broke up with my partner back in the summer or should I say she broke up with me due to a number of things mainly continuous arguments and not getting on. We were together 4yrs which is a lot of time and I very much deeply loved her she was the love of my life. She is now in another relationship which destroys me to be really honest as it all happened so soon we were only broke up 2.5 months before she started seeing this guy she met on tinder which is fair enough we were broke up but after 4yrs I don't know it felt so soon and truth be told in the beginning stages when she first started seeing this guy, not in a relationship with him but seeing him she was still meeting me and messaging me I suppose behind his back in a way even though they were not yet together but she met me on a few occasions and even kissed me, she would also go crazy saying why you talking to this girl crying etc and said she loved me but she did always say she would never be getting back with me so don't get the wrong idea, etc she would always say things like that and was still meeting me without this guy knowing. Anyway fast forward a month she tells me we have to stop talking/meeting and cut all contact as she is moving on and getting serious with this guy as she "loves him".
So I cut all contact for 2 weeks I think it was until I stupidly gave in and messaged her telling her how hurt I am and it didn't go too well she just cried saying she never wanted me to feel that way then she went. So again I cut all contact this time It was 5 weeks until I couldn't take anymore and gave in AGAIN I sent her a simple message you know a general how are you doing and she just straight up ignored me then a week later she replied saying she couldn't talk to me as she is properly with this guy properly and he is her boyfriend and she would hate him to talk to his ex anyway we argued and she rang me saying she can't talk to me and then proceeded to cry and go crazy on the phone also because she thought I had been talking and sleeping with other girls like wtf you have a boyfriend why would this bother you if you are so in love? I never said that but that kind of confirmed she still loves me anyway we said bye on the phone then to my surprise she messaged me saying I hurt her on the call so I was nice said sorry even though I didn't do much wrong she just had it in her head I was sleeping with other girls when it is not true anyway to my even bigger surprise she started making general chit chat with me talking about her new dog, asking me about my life and I was shocked as forever since we broke up apart from us meeting she has been blunt and off over text but she was making convo and replying ultra-quick and there was even a few tiny bits of flirting nothing major of course but a little bit and she again kept going about other girls getting really jealous. Anyway, we were talking up until past midnight then we said our goodbyes, and 3 weeks on I have not heard from her and probs won't but from that encounter, I could tell she still loves me and is just using this guy to get over me he is 100% a rebound no matter how much she tells me she really loves him and he's perfect the way she was that night you wouldn't be that way if you truly loves somebody although I could be wrong.
I am kind of stuck because I just can't seem to move on. I generally do want to move on and find someone new as I have come to terms that my ex will never come back no matter how much I wish it but it seems impossible as I think of her every day, I cry every day over her and I wish I could go back with her and no matter how hard I try I can not get her out of my mind I even dream about her and wake up in the night. How can I move on and find somebody new is it a question of time is a healer and Ill just have to wait to get over her I just truly do want to move on now but it seems impossible but then at the same time I wish I could get back with my ex.