What happens when you can’t stop

[NellyKwlly]

What happens when you can’t stop looking for someone?

People keep saying to me that you’ll find someone when you’re not looking. I am finding it impossible not to look. Terrified of my age and feeling under so much pressure.

I don’t want to be alone and would love a family. I no longer see it as something that definitely will end up happening, but something that i struggle not to think about almost every day

My much younger sister has been with her partner 12 years and married for 3.

I’ve got so much going on with hobbies and friends but this is something I feel sad about all the time.

Don’t know what I’m asking really. Just feeling shit. I feel like I’ve spent my whole life waiting to find someone right for me and instead it’s been endless broken relationships. I’m having therapy. Doesn’t seem to be any particular issue I’m just destined to be alone.

It’s a stupid cliche that is totally untrue. When you stop looking you don’t find someone. I mean yes there’s a one in a million chance, the same way you might also find £100 lying in the street, but it’s unlikely. I don’t know one person who stopped looking and the ideal man just fell into their laps.

Honestly you have to treat it like a job hunt. Get signed up to online dating, join groups where you’re likely to meet single men. Aim to go on a minimum of 1 date a week. It’s hard work.

I don't believe it's true - your future partner isn't going to turn up at your door without you putting in some kind of effort eg online dating, clubs and social activities etc (outside covid of course). I am having no luck at the moment - dating is nearly impossible during covid - but I try to take comfort in the fact that at least I'm putting myself out there. That gives me a higher chance of meeting someone than not doing it at all.