I have known dp for a long time and we have been going out for 4 years. I have name changed for this. I have dc and he has dc but we have none together.
Dp is a great partner - he spent 3 days last week driving the ends of the country to pick up all my dc from university. He cooks all the meals, he takes care of most of the admin. I work FT (and am the breadwinner) and he runs his own business.
2 years into our relationship, I found out that dp had lied about some pretty significant things in his past. Nothing that would impact us or our future - but things like lying about how he broke up with someone, dates of relationships to make it look like he hadn't cheated, he lied about being estranged from his family, just a lot of lies and I only found out because someone else told me. We discussed it, he promised he wouldn't lie again and I thought that was that.
Coronavirus has been really tough on dp's business and he's not making anywhere near the money he's made the last few years. Because of that, he's been unable to contribute to the joint account (though he had fully contributed up to this point) and has actually been taking money out. I had a word with him about it - he owns a house with his exw that she was meant to have sold in 2018 but she didn't. It's none of my business but I feel that if he's essentially taking money from me because he has none, I'd rather he got the money from the house that he's actually entitled to. He said he was going to arrange a meeting. He went and saw her and came back and said they had visited 3 estate agents and she would make the final choice and it would soon be on the market. I said nothing more then a few months later, I asked how the sale was going and he said it was very quiet. I said ooh let's look at the listing and he said he wasn't sure who it was on with (at which point I knew something was up) and we looked on rightmove/zoopla and couldn't find it.
next week he says to me 'oh he knows why we couldn't find it, it was on purple bricks!' - i say great, let's see it. Of course, it's not on there.
Rather than him saying to me 'she won't sell it', he's continued with this ridiculous lie till the point this week where he needed to 'borrow' £2k from me and I put my foot down and he admitted that the house is not on the market and he'd have to see lawyers because she doesn't want to sell it.
So essentially he's been lying to me for months. This isn't the only thing, there are some tiny things too, really inconsequential things like when I went away to help care for an elderly relative and he told me that he'd managed to stay in bed because the dog slept later than normal yet I could see the dog had got up at his normal time (we have a dog cam), he just hadn't bothered to go down and let it out. This is an issue because I know dp doesn't bother to get up when the dog wants to go out for a wee in the morning (I usually do it) and I had asked him specifically to make sure he listened out for him.
I'm no demon, I don't start fights, this isn't about me being so difficult he needs to lie, I honestly think it's pathological. But my kids adore him, he does more for them than exh ever did - we get on so well, love the same things, are v happy together but I don't think I will ever be able to trust anything he says to me and I'm not sure I can continue any sort of relationship with someone I can't trust.