Meeting someone else...

[AhFiddledeedee]

I've been single coming up 2.5 years. ExH utterly broke my heart, I instigated the split but he caused it ifswim.

For the most part I'm happy, I have dc, and job, friends and good family ( that I cant see any of, thanks lockdown!) and by a lot of effort I am amicable with ex.

Sometimes, i think I'd like to meet someone else. I dont know in what capacity. I dont want to get married or live with someone. Never say never, but it's not on my radar right now. The kids are the be all and end all of everything right now. So maybe I'm not in the right place to move on in a romantic sense. The thought of dating someone again is terrifying.

But if I did want to dip my toe in the water I've no idea how. I dont think I have the skin thickness for online dating, i cant be arsed with the ghosters and the arseholes and the dick pics that seems to come with it.

Due to dc, I dont go out much, so where does that leave me? Dont fancy online, i dont get out, so let's be realistic.... shall I be forever condemned to a life of 500 pet cats?

That's ok, if it is, I'd just rather know that im written off at 37

Im the same as you OP, 39 and wonder what my future holds. I've done online and can't do it anymore, the men are mainly awful and treat you like dirt. But meeting someone in real life seems daunting and difficult too. I genuinely can't imagine meeting someone decent, it saddens me to be honest.

I am the same and 47

I was the same as you Op at 34. Met a lovely man through mutual friends, we had a 7 year relationship that made me realise what a proper grown up relationship should be. He never met my daughter as I didn't want him to. We had lovely dates once a week, weekends together mostly at his etc, it was the perfect post divorce relationship! Ended very amicably as we could both feel it petering out, still good mates.

Ah, well..that's that then I guess

Well, a few friends who’ve met partners via work, at the ages of 34, 42 and 44 respectively. It’s difficult if you don’t work with eligible men though, or are working from home. I don’t think it’s the end of the road for you - any friends of friends available? I split up with my DH aged 41 & we were apart for a year, then got back together. TBH I’m sorry we did, as he’s now become old before his time and utterly boring. I’m considering a single life - might be infinitely preferable.

*Have

The advantage with online dating is that you know the people on the site are there because they want to meet someone. Not necessarily for the same type of relationship you want, but at least they are actively looking.

Whereas meeting people through work, hobbies etc, it's totally random whether they already have a partner and if not, whether they want one. I just googled and in 2018 61% of people in the UK were living with a partner. When you add on those who are in a relationship but don't live together, you're probably looking at what, 30% max who are single and looking?

Some of the guys on OLD will be cheating, sure, but nowhere near 70% of them.

So for me, purely from the point of view of statistical probability, I go for OLD if I feel like meeting someone new.

Do you have any hobbies?
Pre covid obviously

I met someone at the gym who seemed really nice. I was still living with, but not with, H at the time so didn't pursue it as it wasn't the right time.
Anyway, Id like to think it's never too late.
Maybe give yourself a couple of weeks online and test the water..

I split with my fiance and father of my children at 33, met my current partner at 37. We are still together and I'm 40 now. I never thought I would fall in love again or have a relationship and here I am happier than ever. Dont lose hope!