Who do you confide in? Feel like I have no one IRL

[again2020]

Those who post on the relationship board, do you have anyone to confide in IRL about the issues?
I'm not a journalist...serious question.

I feel like I have no one to talk to about my relationship problems. General poor relationship, lots of arguments, things brought up from the past, both low level depressed with it all but find it hard to change.

My friends would just say leave (which I can't bring myself to) ..they are either very much single or in difficult relationships themselves.

I overdid talking to my DM years ago and she asked me not to tell her or my Dad things anymore as they don't want to know 🙈 my brother will just tell my parents.

Colleagues, seems inappropriate/unprofessional.

I confide in MIL occasionally but
never loose sight of the fact she's his mum so don't say too much. Oh and, I confided in a friend once and he screenshotted the message straight to my partner 😬 so I'm very wary of opening up again.

So I'm very grateful MN relationships and it's good advice exists. Would love to hear from others.

I genuinely find strangers on the internet, either on here or fb groups more helpful than friends/family. If I try to talk to friends or family I feel like I am burdening them but if I put it out into the open online people can choose whether or not to read/respond.

Agreed. Don’t talk to anyone in real life about it. I pay a counsellor once a week to listen to me. It really helps.

How about talking to a professional e.g. Relate?

Although it sounds like you would be much happier if you just ended the relationship.

A councilor would be appropriate

I definitely couldn't do without my psychologist. She's the only person I can tell anything to without having to filter or minimise or reassure.

Occasionally a friend who divorced her husband last year and went through the same gaslighting, low level abuse. She really gets it, but she has 4 little kids, works full time and has an abusive ex to deal with. We support each other when and how we can. I told a school mum way to much a week ago, she asked how I was (im not well) and I just started crying. My doctor a bit, a counsellor once. My mum occasionally, but she's a carer for a family member and I know it effects her a lot to hear so I try not to worry her. Occasionally a couple of fb friends. None of us have much mental or emotional space, everyone I know is dealing with their own problems. Mostly I read on here and occasionally post. NC a few times, mostly because I couldn't find a name I connected with.

Replika

@soopedup

Agreed. Don’t talk to anyone in real life about it. I pay a counsellor once a week to listen to me. It really helps.

I think this would be a good idea.

Avoid your MIL like the plague OP no matter if she appears lovely and you get on like a house on fire don’t do it. Ultimately her loyalties lie with her Son.

I would rather vent to MN.