Linked in advice?

[Dontjudgemepls]

Please don’t judge me & tell me to end it if I don’t trust him etc.

Few years ago DH had a relationship with a colleague. He left that job (not related to that) & swore he never contacted her again.

Recently a friend told me she was browsing her Linked In & he has ‘liked’ her LinkedIn post & they are friends on there. I don’t use linked in so no idea what this is. But I do use Facebook (he doesnt)

I can’t get into his phone or laptop (passwords). I asked him and he swore blind he didn’t even know he was connected to her on there...

Is there a way I can see if they have been in contact on there? Can I view his search history, or messages or anything?

He’s probably deleted it all now I’ve asked him about it.

I feel like a psycho & really want to trust him. But my gut is saying something’s off about this linked in. He lied through his back teeth about their relationship before.

Tia

It works similarly to Facebook. I can’t see how he could have liked her post without knowing about it, sorry.

If he has a public Linkedin profile, you can google search his name and linkedin (add job title or location too), and the profile shows recent activity i.e if he liked someone's post.

Linkedin is like any social media - so if you had access to his account you could check search history, messages and whether they've liked each others posts. Obviously it's all only work related.

Same for her account, if it's a public one, you can check who's liked her posts (but will have to create your own profile) as it needs to be done by Linkedin.

Without access to his account - you could only check his connections (like friends list), and activity if he has a public account or if he is your connection on Linkedin.

But it's impossible to 'like' a post accidentally tbh.

It's impossible for him to be 'connected' to her on Linkedin and 'like' her posts without realising he's done it, or by accident.

Why not just ask your friend to screenshot his name under the likes on her post, if you need proof?

You can like posts of people you are not linked to.
But it is like any other SM and it does have a chat function though there are more convenient apps for that than LinkedIn.

Be careful about searching - you can typically see who has looked at your LinkedIn profile.

Only do it if you do not have one, or if you are in incognito mode.

And yes, you can like a post of someone who is your second or third connection, so you don’t have to be connected on LinkedIn to be in contact.

It could be that she has appeared on his feed through a mutual connection.

However it’s about that trust, it’s not appropriate for him to be liking her posts.

Sorry, should have said. My friend did send me screenshot so I know he’s liked 2 of her posts. She said she’s just looked through his activity? And he likes something 4 months ago & something last year. They were ‘connected’ on there yesterday she said but not today.

Guess I can’t get into his account to see if they’ve been PM? Bet he will have deleted it all anyway!

He’s also liked a lot of posts of a pretty famous celebrity. Obviously he’s not got a chance with her!!

What do I do now? I really want to get into his account

They were ‘connected’ on there yesterday she said but not today.

So the obvious thing has happened here.

On Linkedin you can see who has been on your profile. OW has tipped your DH off that your friend has been looking at her profile. And now they're not connected. How convenient.

There's no point getting into his account now - He will have deleted everything.

LinkedIn is a professional SM site for work stuff, so people don't tend to message each other in the same way as other SM sites like FB.

He may- being charitable- have liked a post she left if it was something he agreed with from a professional point of view.

You can't get into his account and if you did you would risk doing a lot of damage..

you would have to change his settings to anonymous- meaning anything you look at is not visible to the person at the other end.

So if you logged in and looked at Miss Smith, she would get a notification that you had looked at her profile.

Looking at her would also flag up other people who are either linked to her directly as contacts, OR as people in the same field of work and these will show as a sidebar. They might still be there when your DH next looks in so he'd wonder why.

I was on LinkedIn for years and never had a private message from anyone, despite having something like 300 contacts. People can also go into sub-groups according to their work, so there could be layers of things you'd need to work through and all the time risk him knowing when he went in. You can't clear history in the same way as FB.

I don't understand your friend's comment about they were connected yesterday but not today- people rarely delete connections on LI unless it's for very personal reasons- it's a business site not an online dating site. :)

You need to ask him.

On Linkedin you can see who has been on your profile. OW has tipped your DH off that your friend has been looking at her profile

Not necessarily- how would the OW possibly know who the OP's friend is?

I accidentally like stuff on LinkedIn fairly regularly. Maybe it’s just my fat fingers, but it’s pretty easy to do scrolling on a phone. You can’t connect with someone accidentally though.

@JurassicParkAha

If he has a public Linkedin profile, you can google search his name and linkedin (add job title or location too), and the profile shows recent activity i.e if he liked someone's post.

Linkedin is like any social media - so if you had access to his account you could check search history, messages and whether they've liked each others posts. Obviously it's all only work related.

Same for her account, if it's a public one, you can check who's liked her posts (but will have to create your own profile) as it needs to be done by Linkedin.

Without access to his account - you could only check his connections (like friends list), and activity if he has a public account or if he is your connection on Linkedin.

LinkedIn has really tightened things up and it's almost impossible to see anything unless you are a member.

You often can't even find someone's basic profile- an auto message comes up from LI if you search, asking you to join.

You cannot usually see anyone's contacts either as a member of the public. The most you might see is their CV/ bio but it depends on how they have set it up and the privacy settings they use.

She obviously knows somehow. OP's friend has looked at OW's profile, then looked through the husbands profile and activity - and the next day OW and husband are not connected - coincidence? I think not.

@HotSince63

She obviously knows somehow. OP's friend has looked at OW's profile, then looked through the husbands profile and activity - and the next day OW and husband are not connected - coincidence? I think not.

Only the OP knows if her friend is recognisable to the woman.

Also, we don't know who messaged whom...if the OW was chasing him, he may have deleted her as a contact.

Ffs. I see what you mean. Yes my friend has looked at both their profiles. He’s denied any contact, said they’re not connected & that they haven’t spoke for years (since it all came out). In my rage I’ve text him the screen shot of her liking his photos & he said he didn’t know...and swearing it’s all over..

AIBU? I feel all those feelings from before. He’s saying he’s done nothing

@Dontjudgemepls

Ffs. I see what you mean. Yes my friend has looked at both their profiles. He’s denied any contact, said they’re not connected & that they haven’t spoke for years (since it all came out). In my rage I’ve text him the screen shot of her liking his photos & he said he didn’t know...and swearing it’s all over..

AIBU? I feel all those feelings from before. He’s saying he’s done nothing

Does he know your friend? Would he know who she was by her LI profile?

I'm not that familiar with how 'liking' posts works now on LI but is it possible there was a chain of posts perhaps started by OW and he liked the ongoing conversation, way down the thread, without realising she was the initiator of the thread?

I'm not defending him but trying to see a plausible explanation.

Update - he’s admitted they were ‘connected’ on there but that he deleted her this morning.

He swears never had any contact other than liking 2 posts - he swears was more to do with the work content than the fact it was her.

Apparently she’s happily engaged & getting married soon.

Going to bed to sleep on it all, I smell a rat but have no evidence of anything really..

Yes he knows my friend, but she said she viewed privately. Because I confronted him about it I’ve obviously given him the opportunity to delete the connection & delete any communication if there was any