AIBU? Date this evening

[flowersrain]

I've got a date this evening with a guy I've been chatting to. He seems pleasant enough. He came up on my fb 'people you may know', presumably because I have his number. Of course I had a look at his page and something has really put me off...he shared a post about a Taylor Swift concert being cancelled and captioned it something like 'Taylor's been cancelled! Nooooo' with a crying face.

For some reason I know have the ick. It's fine if guys like Taylor Swift but he seems to be a bit of a mega fan to be posting something like that? It just seems a bit effeminate and immature to me and I'd prefer someone a bit more manly, you know?

Of course I shouldn't just judge him on this or read too much into his fb page but I think it is a bit unusual for a man of 31 to be such a big fan of Taylor Swift.

AIBU?

Is there a bit of stereotyping male/female music tastes going on here?

Would you have batted an eyelid if he'd posted about being Bruce Springsteen or Bob Dylan or Jay-Z fan?

I'm more likely to see Taylor Swift fan appreciation from women and gay men but that doesn't mean straight men don't/can't appreciate her music and even be big fans of it. She's been critically acclaimed since her country days.

"Music for girls" and "music for boys" makes as much sense as "toys for girls" and "toys for boys". It's a positive that he's happy being open about his fandom!

‘Shake it off’😂

My dd was into Taylor Swift and got me into her. I can think of much worse female stars to like.

At least TS is a feminist.

Women on here will waste years on the most horrible mean cruel creeps, but is put off but one fb post about Taylor Swift.

How does that even work?

I don’t have anything against anyone who likes Taylor Swift, it’s just the level of this guy’s obsession that I find offputting

This is so sad...

So much judgement simply because someone likes a specific artist that you think is naff.

As for calling a guy 'effeminate' for liking a pop singer...just odd.

I am a rock/metal/alternative music and film geek and often post about that on social media. If someone is bothered by that, good at least it means I won't have to deal with their narrow-mindedness.

I kinda get this, it’s the super fan thing. I’d have assumed he was being sarcastic from his op. But it seems he might be a super fan. I’d not bin someone off for it, but I’d defo give them the side eye and take the piss a bit,

Oh, I would have been equally judgemental if he was super fanning over Jay-Z or similar. So it has got buttons to do with him liking a female singer. Just not my musical taste at all.

Would put me off too.

Taylor Swift is great, I really like her feminist anthem (if I was a man). Id certainly prefer a guy who was into that than misogynist rap or death metal etc

I know someone who loves Taylor Swift and is male. Does his name begin with D? Lol.

Erm... my bf likes Taylor Swift and is ex military/counter terrorism and about as 'manly' as can get. He builds things, and can lift very heavy things, does triathlons and is an expert mountain climber.

But he will also loudly sing along to Taylor (and Miley Cyrus!) when she comes on the radio, in his 30s. It's called being multi faceted. And being comfortable with his sexuality. Much sexier than some Neanderthal lout who needs to always be macho lest he suddenly turn into a 'girl'.

Very pleased other women are this judgemental before even meeting a man as that's likely how I snapped mine up!

Not a very nice thread from the OP here

He’s effeminate because of his music taste? And possibly a “super fan” (which if it were another band or more male appropriate artist would be ok?

Let him crack on with being who is is and you look for someone properly manly...

“I met someone but she likes rock music. That’s really masculine and so I don’t want to date her”

Can you imagine...

Just FYI, He's probably came up on people you may know because he's been looking at your page, if you have no mutual friends his account wouldn't just appear because you have his number.
So he's probably been judging your page too.

I would also consider whether him being a football 'super fan' (like half the men in this country) would be as off putting. Is it effeminate to get upset because your team lost and post all over Twitter? Because if so there's many many many men who fall into this category.

How about if he was a super fan of a politician? Or a really cool indie band?

I find such likes cringing in adults not specifically men. For any grown adult to be so invested in a musician or a group that they would post such things I find a turn off- same way I don’t understand adults without children going to Disney land

I think my issue is the super fan element of it all - it seems like teenage behaviour. It reminds me of when I was 14 and obsessed with McFly! I have no problem with guys liking Taylor Swift, but posting all about it on social media just seems to take it to the next level

Have you been single long op?

Shake it off OP

@Ifitsamouse no, only a few months but I've done my fair share of online dating in the past. Why do you ask?

My fella is a proper mans man, 6ft 4-stocky-football. You get my point, he absolutely loves little mix, cheesy pop bands, tay-tay. You name it!

Your being very judgemental!

Did you go or cancel OP?

Did you ask him about her OP?

What’s wrong with Taylor Swift? My 50yo 6 foot tall built like a brick shithouse DP loves her. Does it put you off that he likes smart, sassy, women? And let’s face it, she really has some kick ass tunes.

Name change fail up-post, OP!