Hi everyone, I’ve resisted posting but gave up in the end as this situation has been blown completely out of proportion and it makes me anxious now so need some positive words and reassurance.
I’ve been with my bf for a year now. I have 2 sons, 14 and 16 and he has a daughter, 20. Luckily we managed to date properly for a few months before lockdown and due to this we have ended up in the same bubble as we are both lone parents. As a result of having nowhere to go he now comes over every evening and we have dinner together and recently he stays at weekends. It’s the routine we have got into. He has met my children and things are very comfortable etc. I have briefly met his daughter on 2 or 3 occasions when I popped to his earlier in the year. She is at uni so she is only home in holidays. On these occasions She didn’t stick around a lot but she wasn’t rude either. Having teens I understand that’s how that generation are. They like being in their own space doing their own thing. At some point over the year I’ve got it into my head that she might not like me. I think this comes from an occasion where she was with her friend outside and we drove up and I waved as we did- her dad rolled down the car window to talk to her and she didn’t even look at me or a knowledge me. There is no valid reason for me to think this other than my own insecurities I hope. Things are progressing very well in our relationship and my bf getting on with my children and due to circumstances it’s not happened on his side yet. Each time she is home he’s not gone out of his way to invite me over but that’s just him. If I wanted to go over I should feel comfortable enough to just turn up is how he thinks but I’m one for waiting for an invite in case it’s inconvenient.
On one occasion I tried to arrange drinks so I could meet her properly but it ended up turning into what felt like a formal event and I backed out from feeling very anxious! I think I felt like I’d be the outsider against him and her. It’s all so silly! I’m not the most confident and i am insecure and I just want to be liked. So pathetic. Following this I did send her flowers to apologise for backing out and I’ve attempted to start some communication via FB which she has responded to briefly. I sent a small gift for her birthday and I’ve bought her a lovely ring for Xmas. In my own way I am trying. I also struggle with the change in routine as understandably I don’t see him as often when his daughter is home.
All this adds a strain on the relationship when she is home through no fault of hers I’d like to add! so this evening I have taken the plunge and suggested I go round for a casual drink and I can meet her properly! I am nervous and I’m hoping I have no reason to be. I’m hoping I come back home wishing we’d all done this sooner.
I’m not even sure if I’m actually asking anything. I’ve done so much overthinking my head really hurts!