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Original poster

Feel like I’ll be single forever

26 replies

brw55 · 14/12/2020 20:08

I know I probably sound dramatic but I’m feeling so deflated at the moment, I think I need positive stories. I’ve been single for just over a year and I’m 30. I honestly thought I’d be in a different position and maybe married now with children.

I have a great job and am lucky enough to live by myself but I’m just really lonely and with lockdown seeming never ending I am in a real panic about meeting someone or leaving to too late. I feel like I’ve lost a year of my life when it’s been most crucial. I’m on dating apps and went on a couple of dates when we could which were nice enough but I never seem to fancy them!

Has anyone met their partner over 30? And was it on dating apps? I wonder if it’s just a numbers game and I have to just stick with it

OP posts:
ThisTooShallBe · 14/12/2020 20:12

Of course it’s a numbers game and of course lots of people meet at 30 and above.

Gohackyourself · 14/12/2020 20:32

I met mine online at 40.
Ironically I was deleting the app that day as had had enough of talking to idiots.All of the men my age seemed to want a younger woman and would have been punching well above their leagues.
I’d gone on 4-5 dates across 2 years, so not a lot but I’d filtered out quite a few from a lot of chats.
There is hope and I think sometimes when you give up trying it works!

yahyahs22 · 14/12/2020 20:47

I was single for almost 10 months. Met someone, a month later found out I was pregnant. We now have our own home and a beautiful 7 month old baby boy and a very, very happy relationship. This is my first child and I'm your age. There's always hope!

Dave35 · 14/12/2020 21:12

@brw55 lots of people meet over 30 x

twolip · 14/12/2020 21:14

I'd be interested to see how many people actually meet their life partner before 30!
I'm 40, single 6 years. You really have nothing to worry about.

iamtheoneandonlyyy · 14/12/2020 21:21

I'm Newly single at 40 with three kids. Future is looking lonely!

Ihatesandwiches · 14/12/2020 21:21

I met DP when I was 40 after 4 years of being single. 5 glorious years! Not online, although I had had a few dates from an app, we just kept bumping into each other at social events and 'clicked'. When we went on our first proper date he held my hand and kissed me as we walked to the restaurant and I fell in love. I still feel reassured and treasured and loved every time we hold hands or kiss. Don't give up!

Havana7 · 14/12/2020 21:24

I met my DP on a dating app at 33, had a baby at 34. Like you I was single, lived alone and had a good job and panicked that I was never going to meet someone

supercee · 14/12/2020 21:28

Nearly 39 here and been single for years. Also live alone. Love that I am really independent, don't feel the need to have children but it does get lonely yes.

Dave35 · 14/12/2020 21:28

@iamtheoneandonlyyy life begins at 40 as they say x

iamtheoneandonlyyy · 14/12/2020 21:30

@Dave35 hmm we shall see Grin

Welshgal85 · 14/12/2020 21:44

I was single for 6 years before I met DP when I was 30. I was starting to think maybe it wouldn’t happen for me but am happier than I ever thought I could be with him.

Remember to never settle and try not to worry about what you thought your life would be like by now, unfortunately life doesn’t work in a set way and things rarely go to plan. Also try not to compare yourself to others who are in relationships, in my experience they are not always as happy as they appear on social media!

Original poster
brw55 · 14/12/2020 22:24

These are some really lovely replies thank you everyone! To be honest I was just feeling low and needed to get it out and hear from people who got it and you’ve all really picked me up so thank you so much for taking the time xx

OP posts:
Dave35 · 14/12/2020 22:29

@brw55 your welcome, glad your feeling better feel free to pm me if you ever need someone to talk to x

movingonup20 · 14/12/2020 23:04

When my exh left me in my mid 40's I honestly thought that was it, the men I met through apps and websites all were horrible and mostly a lot older than they claimed, then it happened, and we now have bought a house and are looking forward to a lifetime together (we both have had long marriages do know it takes compromise!) My advice is to try a subscription based site rather than free.

TossCointoYerWitcher · 14/12/2020 23:20

My sister-in-law was married and had kids before she hit 30. He turned out to be an abusive tosser. She met my brother when she was in her late thirties and they couldn't be happier.

flowersrain · 15/12/2020 05:26

I am in the same boat and also panicking but continuing with online dating despite how soul destroying it can be. You've got to be in it to win it, right?

RantyAnty · 15/12/2020 06:56

With covid, things are a bit more difficult. Hopefully thing will be better by Spring. When you are able, join some meetups and different clubs and hobbies, after work watering holes, golf, conferences, etc.

My DM passed in her 90s, and she still had men wanting to date her, even at 90.

Gohackyourself · 15/12/2020 07:20

I agree that online can be soul destroying.I had had 4 years on own after marriage ended.But I needed that 4 years in hindsight, to lick my wounds, grieve, heal and get strong.I also had children so could concentrate on them and my job.

Keep going, continue is a good word, continue doing what your doing aslong as it works for you.

There is the “OLD” dating thread that is great support or to look through.Sometimes you need to kiss a lot of frogsGrin

theantsgomarchin · 15/12/2020 07:30

My sister is one of those people you meet that you instantly fall in love with. She gets stopped in the street by men on an almost weekly basis, gets chatted up in Costa, the works. Despite this, she was single at 35. She had a good job and owned her own flat but always struggled meeting someone she really liked. She ended up chatting to someone on an OLD site at 35 (I'm not sure what one) and 2 years later they're married and expecting their first baby. She thought it would never happen for her, but the best thing you can do is be happy in your life as it is, and don't settle for anyone who doesn't truly make you happy

Gretnacastle · 15/12/2020 07:33

I was 41 after losing my long term partner.

A friend helped me setup a match profile. First message was from someone I instantly clicked with.

Profile was hidden the next day, deleted later that week when we switched to WhatsApp.

Met two weeks late for a "lunch date) got home 17 hours later.

Move in together and got married last year.

Never been happier

Don't give up.

boobot1 · 15/12/2020 15:44

I'd say enjoy it. Life can change in a flash, this time next year, life could be totally different. Don't waste time wishing for whats not there, enjoy the now and things will come organically

Starlight39 · 15/12/2020 15:49

i was separated with a 1 year old at 33. I was single for a bit then dated for a while then met my lovely DP when I was 36 and am now pregnant (I think we would have got married but have both been married so not too fussed and my ex refused to sign the divorce papers for a loooong time!). Honestly, you've got plenty of time to meet someone although I feel for you with how hard dating must have been over the past months.

JurassicParkAha · 15/12/2020 22:38

I was separated at 32, met my current bf at 34 on the apps.

My ex boss was an absolutely gorgeous woman. She'd been in a long term relationship with an Oscar winner in her 20s - so really a stunner and lovely to boot. She was single for years and then met her current DH at 36, 1st child at 37. Think she used a dating website.

30 is only the start of the best period of your life. If you think of yourself as old, it will come across in the energy you present the world. Dating is a numbers game. But there's plenty of good men in their 30s looking to settle down, so you're likely to meet someone and progress things quicker than your 20s. Thanks

ShatnersWig · 15/12/2020 22:47

Became single in 2010 after ten years. Was single for the next ten years. Hadn't had a date in eight years. Turned 46 in March.

Who'd have thought I'd have met someone during lockdown? We bubbled, spend every weekend together, had a week's holiday in September, will be spending Xmas and New Year together and it's the best relationship either of us have ever had.

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