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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Hand hold please, feeling awful

3 replies

Razpoot · 14/12/2020 17:51

I have posted here before on my ex asking about how court works, but now im just feeling really low. We broke up after he took got drunk (he's been convicted before after an alcoholic outburst towards me and swore to never drink again), took baby out, grabbed my neck and started shouting at me around the baby. Our relationship was awful, he refused to help with the house, the baby, was addicted to porn and had no interest in me. He shouted at me many times, threatened suicide if i left, self harmed and said it was my fault. He's also addicted to weed, smoked it daily for years now, being high was the only time he was ever kind to me.

Last night one of his friends posted pictures of him drinking (really?!?!) With a bunch of other women. I know he was awful, but im still not past the stage where it doent hurt to think of him with somebody else. Part of me wishes i just dealt with the abuse because it's hurting me so much. I know its a case of "unlucky her, whoever he ends up with next!" But i wonder if he would treat them better for whatever reason, that i just wasn't good enough to deserve his love. Part of me wishes once this is all over (there's a court case he plead not guilty to over domestic assault) he changes his ways completely, drops the drugs, the porn, the neglect, comes to me and apologises for it all but I know deep down he wont. Please tell me your stories of moving on, maybe even finding a wonderful, loving partner. Any support or wise words. I just feel like shit, to be very frank here.

OP posts:
Razpoot · 14/12/2020 17:53

He's also spreading lies about me about the whole event, i dont know what, but trying to turn people against me. It's just really hard to deal with Sad even when he is found guilty im sure he will tell people it was wrongly done

OP posts:
Santaisironingwrappingpaper · 14/12/2020 17:57

Firstly block him on social media. He is your past. Ime people who prioritise alcohol rarely end up happy and fulfilled.
I divorced my exh after I had cause to report him for drink driving. Finally I had something concrete to get rid of him for. All other abuse happened behind closed doors and everyone thought he was a great guy..
I am happily remarried now.

Razpoot · 14/12/2020 18:00

@santaisironingwrappingpaper thanks for your reply. I've blocked him but i want expecting to see his friend post pictures of him. It took me my surprise. I know how you mean, i had been trying to leave anyway but never had a concrete thing. I knnew i wanted to, but it was hard. Getting over it, some days i feel great, days like this... no. I'm glad you're happily remarried, it gives me hope myself

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