Drowning in parenting vs having less money

[Spewkee]

Need advice regarding childcare and work.
This time last year, I began considering starting a new job, basically to work more hours and earn more money. I was becoming very tired of being at home with 2 young children the majority of the week. I was then told by my then manager that there would be more work in the summer which would lead to permanent increased annual salaries by the winter. I really love my job and it fits perfectly around family life so I decided to wait it out.
Then covid happened and the work didn't increase, it died off but only very slightly. So there were no salary increase but my new manager keeps saying that we are still working towards this and that permanent salary changes are "imminent."

I however am drowning in parenting and desperate to get back into doing more work. I could do 'extra' work for myself on the side and I am trying to do this with DCs at home to get kickstarted and failing miserably as they're so demanding of my attention.

I'm now wondering whether to pay for extra childcare for an extra day a week (just one child as the other one gets 30 free nursery hours) to give me the time and space to start something up. Eventually it 'should' pay off but we will initially be financially worse off due to the extra childcare costs.

I need something as my life revolves around the DCs most of the time and I am not coping too well at home with them so much.

DH will be very reluctant due to us being financially worse off initially so I need to make a convincing argument before putting this to him.

Financially, we're not hard up, but it's tight. We're leftover with around £200 per month savings (not including savings for christmas and a one week english holiday each year which we save for seperately). And we have £250 disposable income each per month. We will basically lose the £200 emergency/ rainy day savings each month should we decide to pay the extra nursery fees initially.

Eventually, we could actually be better off financially if I do this, but there will be a risk period of a couple of months to begin with.

What do you think I should do?

Is there any chance your DP could flex his working hours to allow you to get your side-hustle started, without paying for an extra day of nursery care? Maybe just for 6 months, until it is clear if it is viable and/or to give your manager time to prove that this "imminent pay rise" is a real thing.

If you have a good, flexible, stable job right now that is worth a lot. If you move to a new job, you are first in line for redundancy if things go wrong there and they do last in, first out. So I wouldn't personally move job as there is a lot of uncertainty out there.

With such an uncertain economy personally I would not be taking a big financial risk at the moment either, so I probably wouldn't want to jeopardize my rainy day funds, unless you're in very secure jobs like teaching or NHS or something.

Sounds quite tight if things don't work out. The job you were thinking of changing to - can you still get a job like that? You could then move but tell your old manager to give you a ring if the increased work/pay thing happens and they want you back. I suppose it depends on the personalities involved as to whether that is something worth considering...

I wouldn’t risk it. I would wait until I could afford it.

Couldn’t you start off by doing the start up work in the evenings and at weekends when your DH is at home to look after the dc? If he’s not supportive of that, then it would be fair to consider paying for more childcare. Otherwise, I’d just do what you can for now and wait until the youngest gets free hours at nursery.

I know it doesn’t feel like it when you’re in the middle of it, but the time before they start nursery is so short and goes so quickly when you look back, you might regret spending all that money on extra childcare when you could have just waited a little while.