Situation with ex. Confusing.

[Yachting1212]

Broke up with my ex last year. It wasn’t nasty, just different places in life. We stayed in touch sporadically and did hook up a few times. But stayed friends.

He ended up getting together with a female friend a few months ago. He says it just happened. He seemed happy and his girlfriend gushes about him over SM.

However, we were texting the other week and he got very flirty. Saying we could of been having fun if he didn’t have a girlfriend. I laughed it off and told him we could of, but none of us are cheaters. Next day flirty again as if he wanted me to make a move. Ignored him.

He dropped by a card last week and we went for a walk. Few days later dropped by some boxes as I needed a few for sending gifts. He complained about his girlfriend saying he doesn’t see it lasting. Not sure they have a future. This girl chased him for years and I feel during lockdown they feel for each other as they bubbled up, more she was just there. Now reality has hit, not working.

Now he has texted me daily since. I would be interested again as we have this insane chemistry, but not now as he is not single. We just get in really well. She has now tagged all over Facebook - social media read flags to look out for in a relationship. Number 1 commenting on exes sm posts. Passive aggressive post. He only answered my box question innocently.

What do you think it means? Is he interested? It just being friends?

All sounds like a recipe for disaster tbh

What do you think it means? Is he interested?

It means he wants to dip his dick in both of you.

He's lining you up for a shag as side-piece.

Tell him to get in touch when he's single.

You are seeing far too much of him - texting daily and him bringing you boxes . WTF ? How would you like this if you were his current gf ? You lose them in the same way you get them - he is showing himself to be a cheat . Listen we all have this "insane chemistry" with unsatisfactory people and that is usually the reason why - they are unsatisfactory .

What are you hoping to achieve out of this? He's with someone else, they don't have kids and aren't married. If he didn't want to be with her he wouldn't be with her, he obviously likes her enough. Not enough not to flirt with you obviously, but enough to be her boyfriend. You might have amazing chemistry but their is very little stopping you being together. The fact that you aren't together indicates he sees you as little more than a bit on the side.

Avoid

I remember this situation from a previous thread you started.

Do you think so little of yourself that you want to be some ex's secret shag behind his public girlfriend's back?

You all sound like teenagers.

He likes you enough to shag you but not enough to date you publicly.

He likes her enough to shag her and date her publicly but not enough to be faithful.

You like him enough you're enabling this and started threads about him on the internet.

Nobody is winning here except his ego.

He only answered my box question innocently.

What's with the faux naïveté about this? No he didn't. Here's a reminder of all the things before that sentence in your post:

Few days later dropped by some boxes as I needed a few for sending gifts. He complained about his girlfriend saying he doesn’t see it lasting. Not sure they have a future. This girl chased him for years and I feel during lockdown they feel for each other as they bubbled up, more she was just there. Now reality has hit, not working. Now he has texted me daily since. I would be interested again as we have this insane chemistry, but not now as he is not single. We just get in really well. She has now tagged all over Facebook - social media read flags to look out for in a relationship. Number 1 commenting on exes sm posts. Passive aggressive post.

He answered it innocently though, yeah? Come off it.

He wants to bang you. But not date you. It's that simple - if you're happy with that it's your prerogative but my vagina would have sealed itself shut at how much of a prick he is.

he's interested in a shag now and again. why wouldn't he end things with his current girlfriend if he really wanted to be with you?

And stop enjoying her discomfort with this disingenuous mention of her 'passive aggressive' post. It's not passive aggressive. She's well aware her boyfriend is sniffing around his ex. He's making fools of both of you.

I looked at your history to see the other thread about this as it sounds like you are maybe into this gut if you are posting multiple threads and read that you have a dp? Where does he fit into this?

Thanks. I know I am being ridiculous and potentially being set up for a sideline.

I do like him, but don’t trust him. So no future, unless something changes. Try to ignore but we get on well. I have no DP, so single. Dating yes as I feel there are better people than him. He seems to be overly interested in my dating life.

He had said he misses me and missed his chance with me. I feel I am being sounded out for interest. I have said be single and we can discuss and stop flirting. He is one of those guys who can’t be single. His gf did chase him whilst I was with him, so history there. I am sure she is nice.

I get peoples point if he’d wanted to be with me he would. Oh well it’s a pipe dream. Just need to courage to ignore.

He will just shag you and leave you again . Is this what you want ?

If we were both single. Yes. The sex is amazing. But relationship, not sure, with no pressure we are better as friends. A lot would need to change. Not too sure he has it in him. Or I would want to wait.

I did ask him to tell me one nice thing about his gf, as he must like her. He couldn’t. But that could be to hook me in. Need to get the power to ignore him.

wouldn't touch him with a barge pole... he was likely spilling all this bollocks to her when he was with you... think about that 🌺

I do and hesitate for that. Many red flags. But easy to ignore now as chatting to a nice guy.

Think it’s all power play!

He doesn't sound like a very nice person. He sounds like one of those ones who gets bored easily and likes to chop and change but doesn't like to be single. But he is eroding your boundaries by softening you up. Obviously, a really decent, kind man wouldn't be behaving like this.

I would lay a bet that the girlfriend who has been chasing him for years has been in a similar holding pattern to you. He's creating a harem, so that he doesn't get bored with the same woman but isn't in any danger of being left alone.

If you get interested in someone else, you will soon lose interest in him.

Many red flags. But easy to ignore now as chatting to a nice guy.

You really need to do some work on your boundaries - look up the shark cage analogy.

You shouldn't need a 'nice guy' on the scene to say no to someone who is so clearly a prick who doesn't want to publicly date you, just chat you up behind his girlfriends back and get sideline shags!

You need to get to a place where you value yourself enough that you'd rather have no man to talk to than entertain the idea of such a massive bellend.

You know he's the kind of guy who if his girlfriend said she had concerns about him talking to you, he'd say you're mental and obsessed with him and probably say horrible things about your appearance? That's the kind of guy he is.

Men like him are shit on your shoe. He's nothing special and to be honest he is bringing out the worst in you as you've been engaging in really quite nasty conversations eg challenging him to say one nice thing about his girlfriend - that's so clearly flirty / setting him up to talk shit about her that it's disingenuous for you to suggest it was anything other than a test for him.

Do some work on your boundaries, expectations and don't waste time with pricks like him.

You know when TV series leave you wanting more? But they just won't do another series? That. Do that. He wants his cake - yadda yadda.

Hold your head high and leave him wanting more. He had it but blew it. 👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋