Felt like a confused teenager

[Nottherealelvis]

I'm embarrassed to even ask. I have a friend that I've known for many years. We didn't speak for a while due to relationship things, for a few years.
The relationship is over and we are in touch again. We've never been more than friends and never thought we would be.
The past few months we've been speaking a lot by text and I started to get interested without realising and it seemed like he was the same. Then tonight he made a comment along the lines of he hopes my next boyfriend treats me well and it seemed like a friends and nothing more comment. I'm annoyed with myself for feeling a bit sad about it, I will say I've been out of this sort of situation for years so I'm not sure if I'm thinking too much.
Reading it after typing it seems such a non problem I just don't have any mates to chat to at the moment so please don't eye roll at me

Why don’t you ask if he can recommend anyone that’s like him and listens well, reacts well you know ? And see if he recommends himself.

I don't want to make him uncomfortable of o have things wrong.
I don't get it really we speak every day on and off all day really and he almost always starts it.
There's kids on both sides so I definitely get that might be an issue but I wouldn't want to involve them anyway

*if I

He said it in the context of 'please make sure the next one is nice so we can still keep speaking this time'
I haven't been around a decent man in a long time I don't trust my instincts

When you say you started to get interested, was he giving any signals that he was? if he was wanting more than friendship I think he would of tried to cross that line by now. Are you able to meet? Might be easier to develop it if there is to be anything between you.

Could he have been fishing to see whether there is someone else on the scene do you think? I think @LouiseTrees’s suggestion is a good one. I really don’t think a comment like that would make a grown man uncomfortable. If he doesn’t take the bait, you can laugh it off as a friendly compliment.

A long time ago he was interested but I wasn't at that time. He contacted me within days of me becoming visible to the world again and has stayed constant since. I think neither of us want to not be friends so I'm wary of ruining anything.
To be honest he used to be a bit of a..bugger in previous years but he's definitely grown up that's why it's all a bit different

I am all one for blooming relationships like this, but if I made that comment to someone I would either see them as a friend.or I would assume there was no future in a relationship because the other person wasn't interested.

Not that my viewpoint is the only one. But is there any way he thinks that you aren't interested in him?

If the opportunity like that comes up again, where he says pick a nice man so we can still talk. Maybe you could say something like " oh, I learned my lesson on that one, you are more important to me than anyone who would try to stop us talking". And see what he says.

Why don’t you respond jokey?

“Where do I find someone like you then?😃”

Yes I have a sort of bad feeling I might have given off that I'm not interested. He's offered me to see him a couple of times and I've had to say no so maybe I've stuffed this up. And he's made a couple of little jokes that are almost flirting but I'm useless at this so I might have not taken the bait.
I'm an idiot. Ignore me, I'm going to go and bang my head against a wall but not literally

I'm going to just be glad I'm lucky enough he's my friend I think. He's been really great with me and that means a lot.
I've given my head a Mumsnet wobble.
Maybe something will come of it and maybe not but I don't want to risk losing him by making it weird.
Thanks for humouring me
Merry Christmas

Hello OP, you're ok! The fact he said 'please make sure the next one is nice so we can still keep speaking this time' means at the minimum that he's a real friend to you and in it for the long run. It's understandable you may want clarity (and fast) if you are confused about your own feelings, but try and take a deep breath and not jump to conclusions based on one sentence or one conversation... If you are both in that place at the same time, things will evolve and something will happen naturally. If they don't, as you say you have a great friendship there, which is invaluable.

I am sure from what you've said that he is exploring the possibilities of taking this further. He was a bugger in previous years, think he's forgotten? Also there a kids involved. He seems to be taking a very cautious approach, rightly so.

From his point of view he's perhaps quite worried that you wouldn't want someone like him, you've come close to making it plain to him that you don't. If you want him take the imitative, ask him on a friendly date, coffee in town or something.

A lot of men like to too see it written on a billboard before they make the jump and ask so don't be too shy if this is what you want.

Haha I do like the billboard comment. Yes it's right there's no rush, I know I definitely am feeling different because I just pondered how I would feel if he started seeing someone and the answer is not good! Lol. But i won't risk messing our friendship up. He's been a diamond the last few months. But if the subject comes up again I will handle it better I hope

Well I don't know if anyone will read this but after a lot of back and forth and sitcom style confusion things are now different yay.
Tonight is the first time neither of us have kids in about six months. We are in a bubble in that we aren't around other people but hardly each other either.
Anyway, this is a tmi warning
Period has decided to linger don't suppose there's magic tricks to make it stop anyone knows of? Really it's unbelievably bad timing lol