Pregnant and relationship not working

[Darcydoodle1]

Please everyone go easy on me, as I know I am going to sound like a horrible person with the situation I've got myself in... But I really need advice and somewhere to turn.

I have been with my partner for 7 years. We have a good relationship, he is a lovely supportive person and honestly ticks all the boxes that many people would want from a partner. However, I have had niggling doubts on and off for a few years. Nothing big enough that I felt unhappy as such, or that I wanted to end things. We laugh together, he is good company and I enjoy being with him, but often it doesn't feel enough and that something is lacking from my end. I kept hoping things would get better and I would stop doubting us and expecting too much. He proposed 3 years ago and I have palmed it off as it makes me uncomfortable and doubtful that it's a step I want to take with him. He has been understanding and still stood by me. We spoke of having a family one day, and actively started trying a few months ago. It didn't take long and I find myself 9 weeks pregnant (I found out at 5 weeks). As soon as I found out, I instantly felt dread and omg what have I done. Not because I don't want a family one day, but because it feels so wrong with him... I feel like I am trying to force something that is not there but there is nothing actually wrong in our relationship if that makes sense?? We aren't really intimate very much, again it is me who doesn't feel it anymore.

I have thought about having a termination as the situation just feels so wrong. I am scared I will regret this. I am in my early 30s so limited time to try again. But I don't want to bring a child into a broken relationship. It's not fair on the child or either of us. I have told him everything about how I am feeling and of course he is still standing by me because he is a wonderful person. But there is only so much he can take and I understand that. I never ever want to hurt him and I want him to be happy, I want both of us to be happy.

Can anyone shed any light? Again, please no hate 😢.

I have had niggling doubts on and off for a few years. Nothing big enough that I felt unhappy as such

Examples?

Just that I'm not sure he is the one I want to spend my life with. I love him, I truly do, but is it just because I care about him, I don't feel "in love". And major lack of intimacy. There's nothing I can pinpoint that makes me feel this way. It's just my gut feeling.

I honestly think you just need to find out if the grass is greener elsewhere. You’re obviously not fulfilled or happy in your relationship and you’ve been in it a really long time.

You’ve buggered yourself (excuse my French) intentionally getting pregnant when you feel like this though. Going through the pregnancy/baby journey with someone you are in love with is tough enough I doubt it’ll make you feel much better. Even if you do take a break from DP now it’s not going to be a ‘clean break’ due to circumstances so I think you just need to make your decision about the pregnancy independently to your relationship with him. If you see the baby/him as a package deal you’ll just feel trapped.

I know I would feel like this way about my DH had I met him a few years earlier than I did. He’s stable, calm, loyal and quiet. A few years earlier I would have appreciated non of those qualities and thought him terribly dull. Luckily I dated enough arseholes in those interim years to REALLY appreciate him now.

How would you feel without him in your life? Would you miss him?

No judgement, but I feel really sorry for your DP. I don't think it's fair to have dragged this out for so long, knowing for years you've had doubts.
It's completely up to you what you decide to do with your pregnancy. I don't think there is a right or wrong answer. I personally wouldn't carry on with the pregnancy, as I don't think it will make your relationship stronger, actually the opposite-but that's just my opinion.
Good luck whatever you decide to do

Op you are not the first person to try for a baby with a do you were unsure about and you certainly won’t be the last. So don’t be too hard on yourself.
This is 100% your decision to make it whatever you choose to do about the baby I would advise that you make your choice based on being a single/ coparenting parent.
Things may workout with your DP and if they do that is great but this particular decision, if you are unsure if he will be inthepicturefull time or not, go for not and know you are making the decision for you.

I'm feeling the exact same at the same point in my pregnancy. What did you end up doing? Can you offer any advice?