Oh no. What if anything do I do?

[Wouldntgooutinthatdress]

There will be those of you who will say mind your own bloody business and believe me, I have considered that.

I'm friend A, there's friend B and MF, for married friend.

Friend B and I have known each other since Uni. I went to my home Uni and MC is also my cousin, similar to me in age and lives locally.

MC met friend B when MC & me were at Uni together, B came out with us sometimes. There is a wider group of us, all Uni friends who stay in touch, most of them stayed locally, we all got married and had DCs at a similar time.

MC split from her H in 2017. The man she married was a wideboy and a nasty piece of work, his business practices were often illegal he boasted about it . Then towards the end of their marriage he became very violent. Their DCs spent a lot of time staying with us. MC would have been welcome too but she wanted to stay at home. In the end, it was only a GP reporting their suspicions to the Police that meant they spoke to him and he left her alone.

Although they split I know that they aren't divorced, at least as far as MC knows.

Here's the thing: friend B has heard that MC's ex, remember MC thinks they are still married, and his new girlfriend are getting married before Christmas. She's heard this via a relative of MC's H new gf, so it's a reliable source.

Then friend B did some Facebook digging and it certainly looks like he is getting married.

As I've said, he's not unused to behaving illegally, he does have a criminal record and I wouldn't be surprised if he were to marry someone bigamously. He really does seem to think that the rules are for other people.

I was chatting to MC today and without asking outright I'm sure that she doesn't know that her H is about to marry someone else.

Do we - shut up and say nothing, then wait for him to do it and tell the authorities?
We are sure MC won't tell the Police herself because she is still terrified of him.
Is there a way to find out that someone has registered a marriage before they get married in the UK?

Even if he is getting married bigamously we are tempted to let it go ahead because it could shore up MC's position in any divorce.

Wtf do we do here minding our own business is an option but I love MC & their DCs very much and don't want to see them hurt even more-

Btw. No I'm not a troll, do report me if you think so and yes, sadly, this is true.

I wouldn't tell MC or the authorities. At least he can get charged in the future with bigamy , seeing at he got away with DV. Seems like a nightmare waiting to happen, and the best thing is, you and MC don't have to do anything about any of it.

The notice should be in your local registry office if it's a legal wedding already. Go check (available for anyone to view) but don't tell her.

When I say local, I mean local to where they live which may not be the same as yours.

May it only be a commitment ceremony rather than a legal marriage?

The new gf who seems very nice btw doesn't seem to think it's a commitment ceremony. I don't think that she believes in another religion e.g Muslim or pagan in which she may have her own ceremonial tradition, Weenurse, other than the British system of marriage ceremonies.

Let him do it then shop him. Maybe he’ll get some lovely time away.

Plus, ex H is not, to my knowledge, in any right wing groups but he's politically of the mind that when he talks about the armed forces it's our boys. Even though the only kind of gun he might have carried himself is an illegal one. He's not overtly racist but scratch the surface and I'm sure it's there.

Yeah. He's a proper keeper.

New gf is from a different area. Friend B isn't sure exactly which bit. There are 4 different registration jurisdictions within close confines round here and I'm not sure where new gf lives. So it's a bit needle in haystack.

The other quandary is that new gf is nice too. Should friend B say anything to her?

Just tell your cousin what you think is going on and let her decide what to do.

Nope... if he’s this much of a prick - he’ll be violent to new “wife” soon enough too. Let him be charged with bigamy and save her from that.

Don't involve your cousin. If you can find out from the register office whether a wedding is planned, let them know and/or the police.

Genuine possibly daft question: is it possible to divorce someone without their knowing? I mean, there must be a way to get divorced if your spouse has disappeared abroad eg and you can't find them. You're not forced to stay married forever? And if that's the case could the husband have secretly divorced his wife?

I know some one who found out a week before her expensive wedding that bf was actually still married. He must have got a quick divorce as they married not that long after. Warning signs were there!?!?! Then he was v controlling so she moved out and divorced him a year later.

@TerraMirabilis

I think it is possible to get divorced without your spouse knowing. But it's not granted often, and you have to prove that you have effectively been abandoned and you have to prove that you have made an extensive effort to locate the person. It doesn't sound like this is the case here.

I think my knowledge of this comes from the telly though😁, so I'm not certain.

What business is it of yours? Nowt to do with you at all. Keep your beak out.

I couldn't understand your OP! It's so convoluted...why did MF turn into MC?

Is the basic story that you know your married but separated friend's husband is remarrying? And you're wondering if you should say something?

@victoriaspongecake

What business is it of yours? Nowt to do with you at all. Keep your beak out.

This is like telling someone who knows something that could prevent a robbery or a murder not to bother because it's not their business. Why wouldn't you do it, if only to protect the unfortunate woman he plans to marry?

This person got the bigamous marriage cert from the register office and then reported to the police: www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/bigamist-dad-caught-out-after-10289979

as it sounds as if the ceremony hasn't taken place yet I would contact all four of the possible register offices.

I would tell the friend, she’s best kept out of the loop.

I would leave it and see if the marriage goes ahead and then let the new wife deal with it

as it sounds as if the ceremony hasn't taken place yet I would contact all four of the possible register offices.

This for sure this is exactly the reason why the bands are read or notices are shown in register offices to ensure people DO report.

I'm pretty sure when you get married they check if you're already married to someone else...

@FortunesFave

I couldn't understand your OP! It's so convoluted...why did MF turn into MC?

Is the basic story that you know your married but separated friend's husband is remarrying? And you're wondering if you should say something?

Probably a typo. C and F are very close in a keyoard.

See, even I made a typo talking about a typo.